Never Have I Ever
by Tunnel-Visionary
Summary: Alex, Casey, Elliot, Olivia and Munch are trapped in the courthouse elevator. What to do with the time?
1. Never Have I Ever

**Never Have I Ever**

Disclaimer: I do not own, I just fan, and I hope you all enjoy. This is kinda like my other stupid humor fic (Marry, Fuck, Kill), only probably more stupid, and therefore possibly more enjoyable. Well, maybe. I'll let you all decide! :]

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**Chapter 1: Never Have I Ever… Elliot's POV**

I honestly went into work that day prepared for just that: Work. Straight up, no nonsense work, but of course, life has this way of taking your plans and shitting all over them, as if to say, 'Ha-ha, you moron. You thought you could actually _plan _your day? You're a silly asshole.'

So, of course, I honestly thought that once I and my partner had done our business in court that that would be it, and we could go and get on with everything else that needed to be done, such as paperwork, interviews and making sure I spoke to my wife.

And, granted, it started out that way. Kinda.

"What a crazy day." Olivia sighed, tossing her empty coffee cup into a trashcan just outside the courthouse. "I hope we don't have to be here for too long."

"Eh, you and me both." I agreed, grabbing her arm as she reached for the door. "Shouldn't we wait for Munch?"

"You don't think he's here already?" She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, indicating that she was either unhappy or cold. Possibly both. "Anyway, can't we wait inside? It's cold out here and I'm not dressed as appropriately for the weather as I'd like to be."

Ah. So she was cold. I shrugged and held the door open so that she could get inside (ladies first), looking past her toward the bottom of the stairs as she walked in.

She sighed again, looking tired, "Something wrong?"

"Is that-"

Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped as she realized what I was looking at and she pushed her way back out into the cold, "Oh shit, is that Casey?"

Well, yeah. Oddly enough, it was.

"Casey?" Olivia called out, jogging towards the top of the steps, trying not to look over eager or some shit like that as she made her way towards our blonde former ADA.

And Casey turned up to look at us, because obviously she hadn't seen us before. It was a wonder I saw her, I had just turned to see if Munch was heading up or something, I mean I don't really know, you know? I was just checking out the scene behind me and bam! There she was. Just walking up and chilling at the bottom of the stairs like she owned the place.

"Olivia? Elliot? It's so great to see you!" She ran up the stairs and wrapped her arms around Olivia, giving me a big smile over her shoulder. I was next for a hug, once she let Olivia go, and I accepted it with a little less ease than my partner had. Not that I had a problem with her or anything, but it was just, you know, weird. Weird that she was here, not that she was hugging me. But whatever, she was talking and so I had to stop thinking about the odd coincidence.

Olivia shoved her hands into her pockets and kinda nodded towards the door, an action I understood to mean 'hey, let's get inside before I freeze my ass off'. Well… More or less that. "Yeah, it is! What are you doing here?"

"I'm…" Casey blushed as she walked through the door that I found myself holding open yet again, followed closely by my partner and then myself. "Uh… I'm picking someone up, actually."

Olivia raised an eyebrow at the same time as me, and I kinda rolled my eyes, at least the eyes in my head, because we were always doing things like that, and it was kinda funny to me. It wasn't really funny to anyone else (like Kathy) but it was just one of those things that only she and I got, you know?

Not that that's important or relevant to the story or anything like that.

"Who uh… are you picking up at court?"

I'm glad Olivia asked it, because she sounded genuinely curious whereas I would have sounded sarcastic, like an asshole, because honestly we both knew who she was there to see, and it took everything in us (well, I say us plural, but you know I can't know if it applied to her as well as it applied to myself) to keep from laughing.

Casey blushed, sweeping a hand through her hair and pulling us toward a corner. I wasn't sure if it was because she didn't want people to hear her or see her, since she would be easily recognized in her once home away from homes, but if she didn't want to be seen then why in the hell would she be here in the first place?

"I, uh, Fin… didn't tell you?"

"Well, he told us once you broke a faucet."

"I thought you didn't remember that night, Olivia."

"I…" Now she was blushing. Jeeze, all we needed now was to bring up Munch around Alex and I'd have enough tomatoes to throw into a salad. Wow, that was a stupid metaphor. "I remember some things."

I rolled my eyes and Casey giggled, "Oh. THAT night, I heard about that night. Didn't you and Alex-"

"No!" Olivia snapped quickly, "Ahem. Anyway. Fin didn't tell us what?"

"That… We've been… Dating?"

"Eh." I shrugged, smirking a little. "Fin kinda keeps to himself. Probably didn't want Munch knowing, you know?"

Of course, it would be my fucking luck for Munch to walk up when I was talking about him, which he did.

"Fin doesn't want me knowing what?" The old bastard slinked up behind us and I swear his jaw nearly fell off his face when he saw who we were talking to. "Holy shit, Casey No-"

Casey gave him a light shove, "Hey, shut up!"

I chuckled a bit, after all, you would too. Munch had gone from looking solemn to shocked to hurt in about two seconds flat. "Hey… Why'd you do that?"

"I'm not exactly the most popular person around here, Munch."

"I'm sure all that stuff about you being disbarred has blown over by now." He said sarcastically, rubbing at his chest where she had shoved him. Pussy.

"Ha. I'm sure."

"But I actually am curious, what does Fin not want me knowing? That you two are an item, because I know that."

Olivia rolled her eyes and shoved a hand into her pocket as her cell phone started to go off, "Munch, we ALL knew that."

I smiled a little at her as she flipped her hair back and pressed the phone to her ear, trying my best to not look like I was watching her, though I'm sure I was. I wasn't deliberately trying to be weird, I just liked to know what she was up to. To like, watch out for her, you know? I'm sure you know.

"Hello? Yeah, we're here already. Well we're not really going to go in without you, are we, asswipe?" She giggled and looked up kinda self consciously before clearing her throat a little and turning her back to us. "Sure, we'll wait. We're all kinda waiting anyway. Yeah by the- Oh wait, I see you."

And as quickly as she had answered she hung up, snapping the phone closed and shoving it back into her coat, throwing her other hand into the air as she headed towards the door. I swear too, the first thing I thought was she better not go outside again, because damn it she'd done it like twice already and I didn't want her to keep bitching about being cold. But that was only a thought in my mind for maybe a second, because I soon saw that what she was really headed toward was not, in fact, a door, but rather the other ADA she was fond of.

"Oh sweet." That was Munch. He always said something like that, with a goofy, stupid ass smirk whenever Alex was around. I rolled my eyes and glanced at Casey, trying to convey how weary this guy made me through my stare, but I think all I did was confuse her because she kinda screwed up her face like she was confused as to why I'd even look in her direction. Well, I probably would be confused too, if I was her. After all, she was unaware of the history and shit there. Blissfully unaware. Lucky bitch.

Olivia dragged Alex up to us, and the blonde smiled at Casey, extending her hand. I always forgot that they hadn't ever really met. At least, I didn't think they had.

"Casey…" Alex smiled as Casey took her hand, and it kinda looked fake, but she could have just been tired, or she could've been really irritated because Munch was around. If that were the case, it wouldn't have shocked me if my smile were fake too, and that made me feel kind of bad, because I like Munch, honestly, I do, but get him and Alex together and I swear they're enough to make you want to cut your ears off. Anyway, back to Alex and her fake/tired/irritated smile, "Nice to see you again."

Oh, well, I guess they had met then.

"Like wise." Casey smiled, and it looked pretty normal. "Well, it was nice running into you, I should probably go."

"Well why don't you come up with us?" Olivia stopped her departure by placing a hand on her arm. Clearly she wasn't ready for our reunion to be over. "After all, you're waiting for Fin, he'd be up there anyway."

"You're waiting for- Oh. Yeah, never mind." Alex blushed slightly. Well, there I had it. Three tomatoes.

What a stupid metaphor.

Casey grinned and shrugged, looking over toward the elevators, "Well… Fuck it, why not?"

"Great!" Olivia grinned. "You can keep us company while we wait to testify."

"Liv?" Alex raised an eyebrow. "Is that a good idea?"

"What, you think she'll overwhelm and distract me and I'll forget what happened, Alex?"

The ADA rolled her eyes in my direction, I guess hoping to gain my sympathy or something because she's my partner and I guess she thought I'd understand her irritation (I didn't) and started off towards the elevator.

"Someone's in a bad mood," Munch piped up, sliding past us as he followed after her.

I laughed, reaching out to place my hand on Liv's back to, you know, lead her to the elevator. Not that she didn't know where it was, obviously, but just because that's how we did things, I guess. "I'm sure your presence is of great comfort, too, buddy."

"Funny, El."

"I really am."

"Come on, you four." Alex sounded exasperated as she held the otherwise empty elevator open for us. "I don't have all day."

"They won't start without you." Casey said, slinking into the elevator after Munch and Olivia. I was the last one on, and I hit the button because… Well fuck, who cares why, I just did. And, I swear, like, I kid you not, I hit that button and we had just started moving, up enough to get off the ground and past the doors that sealed off the elevator from the hallway, that the power went out and we stopped. Dead in our tracks, in the pitch black, right in between floors and out of the way of help, we fucking stopped.

And Alex sighed, now definitely exasperated.

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A/N: I'm just… insane. And I wanted to follow up my ridiculous drunkard fic with another insane fic, so I did, because I could. Can. Whatever. I hope you enjoy, and I also hope you like the switch to first person perspective, which I typically don't do because I get a little carried away, as you can tell. :]


	2. Rolled Over and

**Never Have I Ever**

Disclaimer: I do not own, I just fan. Please enjoy! :] Also, some people were commenting about how this should be under EO. Technically it isn't really any ship in particular, I just like to list Olivia as a main character. ;]

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**Chapter 2: Rolled Over And… Alex's POV**

Yeah. The elevator stopped. I know, I was (as you can probably imagine) pissed too. Not only had I had a shit morning complete with no caffeine fix, but now, on top of all of that, the fucking elevator stops and there. Is. A. Blackout.

Ok, maybe my morning wasn't too awful, I kind of just woke up knowing that I was going to get to hang around Munch all day, and that just upsets me. Typically. Because typically he acts like a twelve year old, and it's really irritating. That and I didn't have any coffee, and trust me, when you know you're going to be around someone with the maturity of a twelve year old all damn day, not having coffee is a real bummer.

"What the hell?" That was Olivia, so graciously voicing the thoughts on everyone's mind.

"We stopped." Elliot responded, voicing the obvious.

"No shit." Olivia again. I laughed out loud, because I swear I could hear her rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest, and that was terribly amusing. It was likely to be the highlight of my day, which was depressing.

"What's so funny, Alex? I thought you were in a hurry to get up to court."

"Well Munch, I doubt court is really going to be in session right now."

Casey sighed loudly, through her nose. Jeeze, she even breathed like she talked, all nasally and raspy and irritating. "Well. This sucks."

"It really does. I don't like the idea of being stuck on elevator with all of you, no offence."

"Thanks, El."

"Well you're ok, Liv, we've been stuck in worse."

"Oh stop," Munch groaned. "You're making me sick."

"You're sick?" I scoffed, reaching in front of me, hoping to collide with the buttons near the door. I don't know why, I guess I thought pressing all the buttons would make everything magically turn back on. Really I think I was just desperate to get the hell out of there, as anyone would be. As they_ should_ be, damn it. "I'm the one stuck in here with you."

"Technically," Casey piped up, "We're all stuck in here with him. Is it that big of a deal?"

Elliot and Olivia both said yes (as they would) while Munch said no (of course), and I rolled my eyes. "I have a headache."

"I'm kinda claustrophobic." She replied, sounding a little snarky. Maybe being stuck in such close quarters with us made her uneasy, and therefore a bitch. Maybe she was just a bitch. I don't know. Don't care, either. After all, I wasn't Mother Teresa, nor did I plan on being in the near distant future. Or just the distant future.

Olivia, apparently the only one of us with any sense, pulled her cell phone from her pocket. I know this because her bright screen lit up the cramped room, and the rest of us pulled our own phones out hastily, except for Munch, who apparently didn't care to try and get us out of our stupid situation. Jerk.

"Fuck, I don't have service…" The irritated detective sighed, slumping to the floor sadly. "I really need to switch to Verizon."

"But since you have T-Mobile it's free for me to talk to you." Elliot looked really upset by this, for reasons that were beyond me. They didn't even talk to each other on the phone that often anyway, mostly because it was rare that they were ever apart. I wish I were kidding when I say that, but honestly, if _ever_ there were a freaky case of separation anxiety, it would definitely be these two.

"Yeah, and because we have T-Mobile we can't phone out of here because _we have no service_."

"I don't either. " Casey interjected, following Olivia's lead and plopping to the floor and adding, as if we cared, "Sprint."

I sighed, looking at my pitiful Blackberry. "And my phone is on its last leg…"

I held it high above my head, hoping that one bar of service would come up and my battery would suddenly recharge itself.

"You didn't charge your phone?"

"I was busy preparing for my case last night, forgive me for not thinking about all the people I couldn't tweet to when my phone died today." I glared at Munch, who had (of course) been the jackass to question me. "Anyway, where's your phone?"

"Home. Charging."

"You're an idiot."

"Thanks, Alex."

Elliot rolled his eyes and held his phone over the elevator buttons, illuminating them with the glowing screen. He quickly punched the emergency button, which sadly did nothing, because the power was out. Damn, how long did it take for them to turn shit on? No matter, Elliot was still trying anyway, grabbing at the emergency phone and putting it to his ear.

"Why didn't I think of that?" I mused, more to myself than anyone. It was kind of one of those self-realization moments where you realized that your anger and irritation was abstracting your view of the world around you, but you don't really care because your anger and irritation had turned you from Dr. Jekyll to Miss Immafuckingbitch. It was an interesting moment.

"You're not as smart as me." Elliot grinned, hanging the phone up again. "No service."

"That's worrisome." Casey sighed again, reaching into her purse. She and Olivia had left their phones open and in their laps so that we had a little light in the tiny elevator. "Anyone want some gum?"

Munch held out a hand as he slouched down and pulled his legs up to his chest, an action mimicked by Olivia. Elliot shook his head but sat down, leaving me the only one standing.

"Alex, why don't you sit down?" Olivia asked, trying (I think) to sound sweet. She didn't really but it was the thought, if there was one, that counted.

"I'm too stressed to sit down."

"Then let's unwind." Munch suggested, chewing on his gum with an easiness about him that was unsettling to me. Why was he not stressed? Why was no one else but me stressed the fuck out about being stuck in a pitch-black elevator? Wasn't this a terrifying experience? Was I mistaken? Was I insane? I hadn't thought so, but maybe I was wrong.

"And how, pray-tell, would you suggest we do that?" I immediately regretted the question, and I'm sure the look on my face proved it, if my companions could see it. "But really, I don't want to know. Please."

"Well I was going to suggest we play a game…"

We, as a collective, groaned.

"Munch, I'm still getting over your last game." Olivia sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"I'll _never_ get over your last game." I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest and finally conceding and sitting down next to Olivia. I had to nudge my way between her and Elliot, but it was ok, because it made me feel particularly safe that they were on either side of me, as in a case of an emergency I knew they'd firstly try to save each other, and I'd be caught in the middle and thusly saved by default. Ok, it was faulty logic, but I really just needed to feel a little bit better about my day so far, so lay off.

"Wait, I'm kind of interested." Fucking Casey. Why in the hell would she say that? "After all, I didn't get to be included in your last game."

"Oh trust me, you were included." Elliot smirked and shoved his hands into his pockets.

I'm pretty sure Casey rolled her eyes at that, but she barreled on anyway, "Yeah, I'm sure you talked about killing me all night long, but I wasn't directly involved. I think I deserve some revenge, right?"

"I vowed to never play Marry, Fuck, Kill again." I said, almost wincing at the malice in my voice. I thought maybe I _should _play something, just so I wouldn't have a heart attack or some other stress induced shit.

"I wasn't going to suggest that." Munch said, still munching away on his gum. Heh. Munch was munching. Wait, what? Ugh, shut up, Alex.

"You have another game?" Olivia perked up with sarcastic enthusiasm. "Did you get this one from _House_? Hm? _Burn Notice_, maybe? _iCarly_?"

We all stopped and looked at her on that last show, a bit confused as to why she would even include it in her list.

"What, only Munch can suffer from insomnia induced television? Shut up, I can like the Disney channel, you bitches."

"Dear God." Casey sighed. "Maybe we shouldn't play."

"No wait!" Munch exclaimed, flailing his hands in front of him. "I didn't get it from a show, I read about on the Internet."

Elliot groaned. "Very encouraging."

"It's called Never Have I Ever."

Never Have I Ever? This couldn't be bad, unless you had to do things you'd never done before, although aside from fuck someone in front of other people in the middle of an elevator I didn't see many things I could do that would I would be morally opposed to in the current circumstance. What was the worst I could do? Strip down to my skivvies in front of all of them? It was so dark they wouldn't be able to see anyway.

"How do you play?"

Of course Olivia was on board. I don't know why she even bothered pretending not to be interested in Munch's outrageous games.

"We each hold up all ten fingers, and we go in a circle and say 'Never have I ever blah blah blah', only we actually say something we've never done but we think other people in here might've. If you've done what they say they've never done, you put one finger down, and the first person with all ten fingers down has lost. Or won, depending on your views on life and how it should be lived."

"Ok…" Elliot nodded, still hesitant. God love him, if anyone would stay on my side it would be him. "But the power is out, how will we see each other's fingers?"

"Well, that settles it." I grinned. "We can't play."

"Yeah we can!" FUCK Casey! Ugh. Always with her stupid ass interjections. She stuck her cell phone on the floor and unlocked the screen so it shone brightly into the darkness. "Elliot, Olivia, put your phones next to mine, they'll light up the elevator enough for us to kinda see, and we'll all just keep our fingers as close to them as possible."

God. Bless. America.

"Ok." Elliot nodded again, doing as he was told and setting his phone on the floor next to the (former, _muhaha_) ADA's phone.

Dammit.

Olivia, no doubt grinning like a jerk, did the same, and took it a step further by stretching her fingers out inches above the glaring mobiles.

"Sweet!" Munch exclaimed, rubbing his hands together. "Who wants to start?"

"Me, me!" I swear, if I weren't desperately afraid of jail, I would have strangled Novak, though I'm pretty sure that if I had and it had gone to court I could have gotten off with a temporary insanity plea. Totally.

So, unluckily for me, we all stretched our fingers out and Casey cleared her throat (through her nose, just like she spoke).

"All right." She started, a grin crossing her face. "Never have I ever… Rolled over and introduced myself the morning after."

And of course I wasn't shocked when both Munch and Elliot put a thumb down, but I will admit that I was terribly surprised when a blushing Olivia did, too.

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A/N: This is a ridiculous idea, because I've never been stuck in an elevator, and all I know about being stuck in elevators comes from movies/television, so I do ask that if you do enjoy this story, please suspend your disbelief! Hehe, I hope you all enjoy!


	3. Had Sex in

**Never Have I Ever**

Disclaimer: I do not own, I just fan. Please enjoy! :]

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**Chapter 3: Had Sex in… Casey's POV**

So I'm sure it's already been covered that we were stuck in an elevator due to a black out that hadn't sorted itself out within five minutes, but in case it hasn't, yeah. We were stuck in an elevator due to a black out that hadn't sorted itself out within five minutes, in possibly my least favorite place in the world. All right, that's unfair. It used to be one of my favorite places in the world, next to a softball field and almost any local pub, and I had definitely enjoyed it more than my own boring apartment. But, alas, times change and people get disbarred even though they're just trying to get justice for victims, but _**hey**_, I'm not bitter or anything.

The company could have been worse too, no matter what Alex would say, has said, or still says. After all, she would have been perfectly happy, I think, if Munch weren't around, and though I was in the dark (he-he, literally. Sorry, bad joke) as to why I had some sort of idea that I didn't want confirmed, if only for my own sanity. But that didn't affect me anyway, because I actually liked Munch, and I liked Olivia and Elliot, so really I didn't care what Alex thought. It was pretty _lame_ that she was being such a bitch though, which, truth be told, is more than half the reason I decided to go along and play Munch's stupid party game. The other, oh, thirty percent was that I was really excited to be included in the gang again, it had been so long since we'd hung out or even talked, and I had been in envy of Fin's stories for too long to not make some of my own.

Also, in case you haven't been filled in, we were playing 'Never Have I Ever', which would probably be really exciting if we were fifteen and drunk on New Year's Eve, but since we were… _thirtyish_ and over, it was probably going to be far less exciting unless someone could come up with some really outrageous things to say. After all, for a fifteen year old participating in a threesome would be really out there and _totally, like, insane and like super cool, you know_? Where as for a… _**thirtyish**_ year old, that was probably really run of the mill.

…It was, wasn't it?

Well, whatever, even if it wasn't, this could still be fun, especially because Alex seemed to be in an especially prudish mood. I had hoped I could set her off in a bad way, because that would significantly brighten my day. Hah, that was funny, because we were stuck in a pitch-black elevator. Heh… heh… ok, shut up, I know it wasn't funny, I was just trying to make light of a dark situation. Ha. I did it again. Man, I'm so punny.

…Right. Moving on.

I was rightly surprised that Olivia had put a finger down when I said 'Never have I ever rolled over and introduced myself the morning after', but then, after I thought about it, it kind of made some sort of sense. I could see her getting wasted and going home with someone random, then waking up and not knowing what the hell had happened the night before.

Well, yeah, it took some suspension of my disbelief and a great imagination, but hey, I pictured it nonetheless.

"Hey, wait, what?" Elliot exclaimed, looking at his partner, bewildered and possibly upset. Ugh, he was upset. How sad. "You've done that?"

"Jesus, what is this? Only men can sleep with an anonymous party goer?"

"Well," Munch shrugged, "Men are pigs."

"Seriously." Hah. I knew Alex would have something to say to that. How exciting. But not really.

"I disagree." I put in, not because I did disagree, I mean, I did disagree because not _all_ men are pigs, but for some reason it was my mission of the day to make Alex even more miserable than I needed to. If I knew why I'd tell you, after all it's not like she was this terrible person or anything, and it's not as though I was jealous that she had my old job that was technically hers first, because, again, I wasn't bitter at all. Seriously. I wasn't. So really, I had no idea why I had it out for her. No idea, none at all. "Not all men are pigs."

"Thank you, Casey."

"I didn't exclude you, Munch." I laughed.

"Are we really going to start the, 'Shit all over Munch' stuff again? Because, you know, I'm not a bad guy and that hurts my feelings some times."

"Boo-fucking-hoo." Alex grumbled.

Munch rolled his eyes and shifted uncomfortably, his boney ass likely achy from sitting on the cold, hard floor.

"Wait, I wasn't done!" Elliot exclaimed, still looking over at Olivia. "You seriously did that?"

"Dear God, I was in college!" Oh shit. Irritable Olivia was never fun to deal with. It was too bad none of us had any liquor, because I've heard some really great things about Drunk Olivia. Alas, another time. "I was at a party, and I was drunk."

Like I said, Drunk Olivia kicks Irritable Olivia's ass.

"Plus." She continued huffily, "I'm sure I did introduce myself the night before, I just forgot, ok?"

"You seem to have a really shaky memory when you consume alcohol." Alex smirked, elbowing Olivia playfully in the ribs.

"Well, better that than your problem."

"Fuck you."

I raised my eyebrow at both Munch and Alex, who had answered simultaneously. Fuck. I had hoped for a lack of conformation about their last memorable encounter. Clearly I'm a very unlucky person. Don't tell Fin I said that. Thought it. Whatever.

The two looked at each other, for possibly the first time all day, and Alex blushed while Munch grinned. God, this was going to make me sick.

"Anyway." Olivia cleared her throat, obviously as pained as I was by the constipated look on her face. Shit, I hope it looked constipated because of the disgusting pair of idiots in our presence, and not because of, you know, actual constipation. If that were the case it was no wonder she was so irritated.

Not that being stuck in an elevator with this crowd wasn't irritating enough.

"What about you, Elliot? It's no fair if you get all up in my business if you've done the same thing."

Alex snorted, turning to look at her buddy. "Did you just say 'up in my business'?"

"Yeah? Why? Am I not allowed?"

Alex continued chortling. She had a weird laugh, so I rolled my eyes and rested my head on my knees, carefully placing my ear against the fabric of my jeans in an effort to block out the sound. Of course, it didn't work, because I still had my other ear, but I had made an attempt.

"It's just funny."

Olivia rolled her eyes, her irritable look returning. "Well, El?"

"Well… I… It was while Kathy and I were separated, and I was, you know, distraught and upset and I had gotten wasted."

"Oh. One of those times."

"Yeah." He looked mildly uncomfortable, and I wondered why. Well, only a little bit, because if his reason for looking that uncomfortable was similar to the reason why Alex and Munch were uncomfortable then I seriously didn't want to know. It never occurred to me that maybe he was just uncomfortable because he and his wife had been separated, but I wasn't really in a place where my thoughts were exactly in order (because, remember, I was trapped in an elevator). "One of those times."

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds after that, so Munch, in his infinite wisdom, decided to break it and make the tension dissipate. I know, I thought it was a funny idea too.

"Did you guys want to hear my story?"

"Hey, Olivia, isn't it your turn to go?" Alex cut in, obviously not wanting to hear Munch's story. It was interesting that I was so hard set against her, because so far today I had pretty much agreed with her on everything, including not wanting to hear Munch's explanation for his… well, improprieties.

"Oh yeah, I think it is." The detective nodded, very eagerly, thusly adding to the list of those who weren't interested in Munch's anecdote. I'm sure Elliot was in full agreement with us, however he didn't say anything. I'm sure he was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Olivia, like the rest of us, not only had sex, but also had very lucrative, noncommittal, possibly dangerous sex. Maybe he liked that about her. Hell, I'm sure he did, he liked everything about her. Not that it was any of my business to notice, or anything.

"You're all assholes."

"Wow, déjà vu." Alex giggled, cracking her knuckles before fanning her fingers out over the phones again. I reached down and pressed a button on mine, as the screen had recently gone dull, snapping the others back into the game as those with mobiles did the same.

"Ok." Olivia sighed thoughtfully and twitched slightly, trying to think of something interesting to have never done. I doubted she would for some reason. Maybe I was just in a bad mood, and therefore thinking the worst of everyone. No, that couldn't be it.

"All right," She continued, and I yawned softly. She was taking _forever_. "Never have I ever had sex in public."

Well, jeeze. So much for not being interesting. I looked around at the others before slowly tucking my thumb beneath my palm.

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A/N: I love Casey. To be honest, I love pretty much everyone on SVU, because they all crack me up. On the show, I mean, not just in my head. But they crack me up there, too. :] Enjoy.


	4. Thought About

**Never Have I Ever**

Disclaimer: I do not own, I just fan. Thank you for the reviews (you know I just ADORE them ;] ), please enjoy! :]

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**Chapter 4: Thought About… Munch's POV**

I know what you're going to say. It isn't fair that Munch is playing the game with them because he's been around the block more than the rest of them, and therefore he's going to be the first to lose, or, if you see it my way, win. Well, for the record, that is only applicable in certain scenarios, and contrary to popular belief I am not as big a perv as everyone thinks I am.

Not to say that I'm not a disgusting, crude, villainous and filthy excuse for a human being, but hey, we can't all be saints. After all, if we were, no one would be any fun and we'd have absolutely no reason to play this game.

Casey Novak would most likely agree. After all, she was the only one of us who had been intimate in a public place (which is funny, if you ask me, considering it's against the law and she's an assistant district attorney. Well, at least, she was).

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." It was interesting to me that Olivia, of all people, my delightful sharer of the more liberal beliefs, was making a scene about this. It was even more interesting to me that she had not, like Casey, put a finger down. I definitely would have pegged her as the type who enjoys… outdoor entertainment.

"Whoa." She said again, clearly flabbergasted, just like I was. I was at a loss as to why though. "Elliot, you mean to tell me you've never done it in public?"

Oh. Well, that made a lot more sense then.

"No, I haven't." He pondered this for a moment before looking back to his partner, I assume for some sort of confirmation that his ideas were not as outlandish as they were surely about to sound. That, in itself, was mildly outlandish. How could she know what he was thinking?

Well, on second thought, they are joined at the hip, those two. Maybe she _did_ know what he was thinking.

"Does in my van while it's in my driveway count?"

"Were any of the doors open?" I ask, stretching my arms above my head. It was really cramped in that matchbox of an elevator. It was hot as one too. Well, I'm saying that under the assumption that the matches were lit.

"No. Not that I remember."

"Then it was private." Shedding my coat, I turned to look at Olivia and give her a slight smile, "It's funny, because of everyone I assumed you'd be the one to ride the naughty rides in a play ground."

"Grow up." Ah, she speaks. By she I, of course, am referring to Alex, who still seemed uncomfortable in my presence. Very upsetting.

"I'm surprised no one wants to hear about my sexual exploits." Casey shrugged nonchalantly, pushing the center button on her phone and waking it from its recent sleep. Why do they say phones 'go to sleep' anyway? It's inanimate, it doesn't require sleep, just like it doesn't need food.

I hate cell phones.

"Better yours than Munch." Man. Alex was really on a roll, now, wasn't she? Just because one time, _one time_ I took advantage of her obvious interest in me while she was drunk and I was getting there, she treats me like the scum of the Earth.

Not that I'm not, and not that I blame her, but she could ease up once in awhile. Sheesh.

Not to mention that she_ totally_ instigated the incident.

Crazy bitch.

"I'd have to agree." Elliot nodded, "I don't like to hear about the free love of the sixties from first hand accounts."

"You know, you all are just… assholes."

A giggle escaped Olivia and Casey, and the latter leaned over to pat my knee. "Don't worry, Munch. We all really do love you, you're just a really easy target."

"Thanks. It's good to know that I'm appreciated. I'm not offended at all."

Alex rolled her eyes. I could tell that she, in fact, did not really love me. "Enough with your sarcasm."

"Enough with your bitch fest."

"You know, I've had a really shitty day-"

"Hey!" Elliot stopped her, resting a hand on her fore arm and giving her a stern look. "Look, we've all had a pretty bad day so far, so lets at least _try_ to act like adults and treat each other nicely, ok?"

She pouted. I gloated.

Because, in case you couldn't tell, we are very mature people.

Olivia cleared her throat and awoke both hers and Elliot's phones simultaneously (that crafty thing), "Did your sexual exploit take place with anyone we know, Casey?"

Ah, yes. Casey was romantically involved with my bastard, secret keeping partner. I had no idea why, of all people they seemed least likely to find each other interesting and slash or attractive, and neither of them seemed desperate, so I chalked their relationship up to the old adage, 'It must be love'.

"Yes actually." She smiled smugly. It really is too bad she had to go and get disbarred. She at least had a sense of humor about things, such as giving the four of us some excellent dirt on Fin. And I'm sure she would have laughed about having a drunken encounter with me. Well, eventually, anyway.

Maybe she and Alex could hang out and Casey could teach her how to remove sticks from her ass.

"Well you can't just stop there." I sighed, rolling my eyes dramatically, not that you could tell due to my dark glasses. "At least tell us where, when, and what the fuck you were thinking."

"Well, jeeze Munch, since you put it so poetically I feel almost compelled to give you every detail." The blonde sneered, rolling her eyes and her shoulders, probably because, like I've said, it was cramped in here. And hot.

"I do have a way with words, don't I?"

Alex scoffed, and I think Elliot shook his head, but I wasn't really paying attention.

"Jesus…" Olivia mumbled, so quiet I didn't know if it was an obscenity or a prayer, "Please let us get out of here."

I never took her for the religious type.

"Ok, so…" Casey sighed loudly, through her nose. I don't know really if anyone else had noticed, but she often talked, sighed and laughed through her nose. Did she sing through it too? I don't know. "I was… with Fin, as I'm sure you all guessed."

Elliot snickered, "No, we were completely in the dark this whole time."

"Hah, we have been in this dark the whole time." I smirked. "Nice pun."

"You know, I've been thinking in light and dark puns like, this entire time!"

"No one cares, Casey, finish your story."

She glared daggers at me, not that it wasn't a look I wasn't use to or anything. It was weird though, feeling it from two different angles at once. I shivered slightly. It was almost eerie.

"ANYWAY." The former ADA carried on, head held high. "We went for a walk one night, and it was really romantic or whatever and we'd both had some wine before going out… and… It was late and we were in the mood and the park was closer than the apartment."

"You did it at a park?" Olivia gaped.

"No, I did it at Disneyland. Yes, I did it at a park."

"You know technically," Alex piped up, breaking her death glare at me to look at the detective next to her, "Disneyland is a park."

Olivia smirked at Casey, "See, you need to be more specific."

"Whatever, Central. By the zoo entrance."

"What in the hell were you doing over there?"

"Getting it on." She grinned, clearing her throat and brushing a hand through her hair. I rolled my eyes. Some people and all their nerve. I, in all my years of failed marriages, have never had sex in public.

Then again, maybe if I had I wouldn't be paying asinine amounts of alimony.

"Uh…" Casey looked uneasy since no one had made a move to speak yet. Maybe they were speechless. Maybe they just didn't care. I think that most of them just wanted to get the hell out of the elevator. "I think it's Alex's turn. Am I right?"

"Yes ma'am!" The perky, blonde ADA exclaimed with more eagerness than she'd expressed all day as she straightened up and fanned out her long, skinny fingers over the cell phones. "I have a good one!"

"Then let's hear it, hot stuff." I sighed, trying my best not to grin. I enjoyed teasing her, it wasn't my fault that the slightest word would ruffle all of her pretty little peacock feathers.

Even though only male peacocks have long, colorful tails.

Maybe she would have been a male peacock.

"Shut up, Munch." She growled, trying to compose herself as she cleared her throat. "Never have I ever thought about anyone in this elevator sexually."

What a lame one. Also, if she didn't put a finger down she was a fucking liar.

Oh well. Whether she be a liar or a prude she didn't tuck a finger away, and I shrugged at Elliot as he, Olivia and I all tightened another finger into our palms.

* * *

A/N: Oh Alex, how you slay me. She's such a dirty little liar, isn't she? I appreciate your feedback! Guess who gets to have their pov turn next! (No, really, guess ;] )


	5. Lost Your

**Never Have I Ever**

Disclaimer: I do not own, I just fan. Thank you for the reviews, please enjoy! :]

* * *

**Chapter 5: Lost Your… Olivia's POV**

All right. Firstly, before you get all into this _stupid_ story, I'm going to lay this out for you.

I am a shit storyteller.

I know, it's difficult to believe, isn't it? I'm a decent enough actor (you sometimes have to be, to do this job), and I guess that's like story telling or whatever, but it's someone else's story. I couldn't really tell my own story if you paid me.

Like, I swear, I've had one diary my entire life, and it isn't even halfway full, ok? My first entry is from when I was seven fucking years old and the last entry is from when I was seventeen. Ten years enclosed in maybe forty pages. That's how awful I am. See, I'd do dumb shit like start in on a story and realize how stupid it is and I'd stop, then something crazy would happen and I'd be like, "I should write this down."

I'm honestly just warning you, don't expect much from me.

I mean, expect more from me than Elliot, but that's about it.

I would say maybe Munch, but I bet you he's like the next Stephen King or something.

Anyway, I'll get on with it, because you aren't here to hear me gripe about how crap I am at story telling, you're here to hear the elevator story.

Which, again, is a _stupid _story.

But, I digress (that sounded pretentious, didn't it?).

Alex had just asked a question that should have been forbidden to begin with, because firstly, there were two men in the fucking elevator and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt they've pictured all three of us naked at some point, if not within the last five minutes, you know what I'm saying?

So for Alex to go and say 'Never have I ever thought about anyone in this elevator sexually' was, firstly, a _fucking _lie, and secondly, a really bitchy thing for her to do.

I don't know, maybe I was just pissed off that I had to put a finger down. I could have lied, you know, but I didn't because I'm a God damn decent person, ALEX.

Anyway, before the attention could be turned to me, because knowing Munch it would be, I looked at my blond friend (who, at the moment, I wanted to strangle) and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, HELL no, Alex. There is no way you haven't often fantasized about me."

And would you believe that she fucking blushed?

I swear to God, people cannot take a joke.

"Oh, wow… Alex is blushing."

"Hey shut up, Munch!" She exclaimed, blush deepening as we spoke. I rolled my eyes. What else could I do? Morons surrounded me, and ok, maybe they weren't morons in the real world but when trapped in an elevator together I swear, it was like being eleven and hating all the other kids on the playground again.

I did hate the other kids on the playground, by the way.

"I-I am not blushing!" God, she was going on about it. Sighing softly I leaned my head against the wall and muttered, "I have a headache."

"I do too." Casey piped up, giving us all a very strange, almost concerned look. "Maybe Alex should put a finger down though, since even if she hadn't thought about anyone here sexually before she clearly is now."

"Oh my God!" Alex groaned, pressing her head into her hands, "I am not!"

"Please, Alex," You know, I could tell at this point that it wasn't going to be much longer till Munch got his ass kicked. "Everyone in here knows you've thought about _someone_ in here sexually."

"Fine!" She exclaimed, holding out her hands to show nine fingers extended instead of all ten. "Are you happy now? Are you?"

Casey beamed. "I am! We're tied now!"

"Yeah, whatever." The ADA huffed, looking over at me. "Hey, you put a finger down!"

I stiffened slightly and craned my neck to look at her, a hint of a glare in my eyes. Well, you know, I hoped there was, anyway. I tried really hard to get the right amount of dagger staring in there.

"Yes. I did."

"Oh…" Munch grinned. Yup. He was definitely going to get his ass kicked as soon as we were out of that fucking box of an elevator. "Do tell, Olivia. Is that why you tried to distract us by commenting on Alex's girl crush on you?"

"I do not have a girl crush on Olivia, damn it! I respect her as an individual and as a detective!"

"Right." He rolled his eyes and turned back to me. "Ok, come on and fess up, Liv."

I felt my cheeks reddening as I thought about what to say. You see, I couldn't say the truth without sounding like a freak, and I couldn't lie my way out of it at this point. Man, looking back, I think I honestly should have kept that finger uncurled. Fuck. I wish I had some foresight in these situations.

Oh well, hindsight 20/20 or whatever.

I cleared my throat and scratched at the back of my neck. Man, _what to fucking say? _

"Well…" I began, narrowing my eyes and furrowing my eyebrows. "Why do I have to explain myself? Why can't you, or Elliot, or even- Ok, no, I don't want to know about Alex."

I'm pretty sure I heard her mutter "bitch" under her breath, but I couldn't be sure.

"Oh come on." Elliot laughed, "What wouldn't Munch think about sexually?"

"While I resent that…" Munch began, looking irritated, "It's true. And as for Elliot, why wouldn't he think about any of you at least once or twice? As men, we take a look at a girl and we decide, without even trying to, whether or not we'd fuck her."

Alex opened her mouth to, no doubt, say something along the lines of, "Oh, you're a pig", but Munch also noticed and therefore was able to cut her off.

"Yeah, it's distasteful, but it's the truth. And honestly none of you are hideous, so why wouldn't you be on the 'yeah, I'd fuck her' list?"

Elliot shifted uncomfortably and tried to laugh, "It's sad but uh… very true. I'm sorry to say."

"I'm not offended." Casey grinned, settling back into her little corner. Of course she wasn't. She was also probably the only person in this elevator that was getting it on regularly, and therefore if she were anything but easy going I'd be a little bit miffed.

And yeah, I excluded Elliot from the often-fucked list on purpose, so don't you worry that I made a mistake, all right?

"But yeah, Liv, I think you owe us an explanation." Elliot smirked, leaning past Alex to look at me. I grumbled unintelligently, hoping that it would constitute as a reply.

But of course it didn't.

Alex tried not to laugh as she elbowed me in the ribs. "What was that?"

"I said all of you, God damn it."

And there was complete and utter silence.

Ok, look, I'll clear something up. Firstly, I'm not a perv, right? I'm not. I'm just middle aged and undersexed and sometimes, just sometimes, it gets me down. Secondly, I didn't think really dirty thoughts or anything, I didn't think about anyone in the shower (ok, I didn't think about ALL of them in the shower) and I didn't think about them when I considered renting an adult movie or two.

_Considered_, by the way, because I would NEVER actually do so, because porn is debasing to women and… stuff.

It's just that sometimes you fucking think about watching one every once in awhile, just like every once in awhile you think, 'man, I wonder what it feels like to snort coke'. It doesn't mean you do it.

And you CAN'T tell me I'm the only one who thinks this way, ok. I'm not. At all. It's just that sometimes things that are totally out of character for you cross your mind, and that's ok. I bet you that every once in awhile Michael Phelps thinks about how he wishes he were in a rock and roll band instead of an itty bitty speedo swimming around like a fish all damn day.

Anyway, lastly, I'm also not gay, bi, or any of that. And I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being gay, bi, pansexual, trans, or a gender fuck or anything like that, because there isn't, and I don't give a shit what people say about it. I know people who are, and I know people who aren't and they're all decent human beings. I'm just, you know, not of that persuasion, and that's a-o-fucking-k.

So yes, it is and was weird for me to say I'd thought about all of them sexually but I had, in more of a curious way than a 'I'm so fantasizing about them' way.

I think that everyone often wonders what his or her coworkers would be like in bed. Right?

Anyway, now that I've set you all straight, I'll get back to the bitches in the elevator.

"Would you…" Casey began, pausing momentarily as if to think of a gentle way to ask what the fuck was wrong with me. "Um, can you… explain what you mean… by all of us?"

"Well it's not like I fantasized about all of you. I just… you know… Fuck you all, I don't need to explain myself to all of you! I just have wondered now and again of all of you who would be the best in bed, ok? It's not weird, or anything!"

"Firstly," Munch said, clearing his throat, "It is kind of weird. Secondly, I think we all know who would be best in bed."

"Yeah." Casey smirked. "Me."

"Ptf, whatever." Alex rolled her eyes. "I know my way around the bedroom."

"I ag-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP MUNCH."

Elliot sighed and rubbed at his temples, "Good God, how long does it take to get the power turned back on?"

"Too long." I grumbled, slumping down and turning away from everyone. I admit I was sulking, but it wasn't my fault. So what if I had a good sex drive and no one to share it with, therefore causing it to build up inside me and turn me into a crazy bitch?

Men aren't the only sex that needs… uh… sex.

This is really not going well. See, I told you I'm an awful storyteller.

"Look, let's move passed this… Uncomfortable subject." Elliot said. Good, sweet, delightful Elliot. Always the voice of reason, my partner is.

Also, I don't know if I mentioned it before, but Alex was a total bitch for squeezing her tiny little butt between the two of us.

Not that… you know, it matters that I had to sit by him. I mean I don't care, it was just bitchy. You know.

Fuck, you probably don't know.

Um, yeah, anyway.

"The best way to do that would be to tell us something you've never done." Munch said, most likely not too excited to be leaving this particular subject.

"Oh, ok. Well, I was thinking about it for awhile, since I've been waiting for my turn." My partner cleared his throat and smiled, "Never have I ever lost my gum in someone's mouth."

Huh, that was actually surprisingly original. I would have never thought of that. Probably because I had lost my gum in someone's mouth.

Jeeze, this game was trying to make me look like a whore.

But it was ok, because it was making Alex and Casey look just as bad, since they both reluctantly tucked one of their fingers away right along with me.

* * *

-A/N: So I realize that my Olivia may seem a little bit out of character, but I ask that you suspend your disbelief for the following reasons:

A). They are in a high stress situation, which could cause anyone to act out of the ordinary.

B). This is all what goes on in Olivia's mind, not what she actually does, because as you all know often what we say/do and think are often two very different things.

And

C). This is a freaking humor fic. OOCness is like, almost a requirement. ;)

Hehe, anyway, I hope you all enjoyed!


	6. Known All the

**Never Have I Ever**

Disclaimer: I do not own, I just fan. Thank you for the reviews, enjoy! :]

* * *

**Chapter 6: Known All the… Alex's POV**

I really hate having to tell this story because I am almost positive that everyone else is giving a very detailed account of what they think happened, and I am almost positive that in their detailed accounts they are making me out to be this awful, slutty, crazy woman.

I am not awful or slutty, and I do not have a crush on Olivia.

I mean, I don't.

I just, you know, respect her and value her friendship and her opinion on my outfit when she gives it. Ok? God.

Anyway, I am also not crazy, I was just upset by the fact that I was stuck in the fucking elevator and that Munch was there.

And yes, I probably shouldn't have been so upset that he was there, but I was because I'm bitter, ok? I'm just a little bit bitter, and that it all right, thank you very much.

You reading this may think that I am awful, slutty and crazy because everyone is making me out to be, and you know, maybe because I had already put three fingers down.

I think that that isn't fair, by the way, because I really hadn't thought about anyone in the group sexually before that moment, and no, just because you have sex with someone doesn't mean you think about them sexually. I don't even picture any of them without clothes on.

Oh. Wait. Well, maybe I had done so once or twice, but honestly, it was totally innocent and not sexual.

You know, I don't have to explain myself to you. Ugh.

Anyway. So, yes. I, Casey and Olivia had all admitted to losing our gum in someone else's mouth, but I really think that's a common happenstance, so I don't feel too terribly about it.

The fact that neither of the men had done it put kind of a damper on the whole situation, though. That meant that they were winning.

Bastards.

"Aw, that's cute and disgusting." Munch grinned, looking at the three of us. "Do tell how _that_ happened."

"Well." Olivia started with a sarcastic looking smirk and a great big glare. "Alex and I, you know, obviously lost it in each others mouths."

"T-that's not true." I stammered back, running a hand through my hair. No really, it wasn't. I don't even chew gum very often anymore. "I lost my gum in Johnny Cooper's mouth in tenth… gra… oh. Oh, I see, it was a joke."

Jesus, of course it had been a joke.

"Wow…." Elliot sighed, rubbing at his closed eyelids. "How long have we been stuck in here?"

"Twelve minutes." The ever-chipper Casey chipped in. Heh. Chipper Casey chipped in. Say that three times fast.

God, I'm so sorry, this is so ridiculous.

"Then I've been praying more in the past ten minutes than I have all year."

"I've prayed more in the last two than I have in a life time." Olivia groaned.

Never took her as the religious type.

"I see that I've converted you." He chuckled, leaning back so that he could look behind me and directly at his partner and bestie.

Man, they made me sick some times.

Olivia rolled her eyes and threw him one of those, 'Aw, you're adorable and I can't be mad at you but I'm going to do my best to shoot you an angry look' looks before Casey cleared her throat, "You know, I lost my gum in my friend Jonah's throat a couple years ago."

"A couple years ago?" Munch gave her a confused look and leaned forward in an almost pensive matter.

"Yeah. Like, three or four years ago."

"So you were a grown ass adult when this happened to you?"

Casey looked around at the four of us, almost like she was about to panic or cry or some crazy shit like that. "Yeah? Why?"

"Jesus Christ, Casey." Olivia sighed, putting her head on her knees. "How old are you, fifteen?"

"N-no. I'm… Thirty. Ish."

"Right." I scoffed. "And I'm the Pope."

"If you're the Pope then I'm Britney Spears." Elliot scoffed, rolling his eyes.

Munch grinned, "And if you're Britney Spears then I am Martha Stewart."

"I'm going insane." Olivia moaned, sliding her hands through her hair. Poor thing. She probably was going insane. After all, it wouldn't be difficult. She was stuck in a very small, cramped room with a bunch of people playing an extremely uncomfortable game. Who wouldn't go insane?

Oh God, I think I was going insane.

"Olivia." Casey said, lightly kicking at the detective's feet. "Hey, so, when did you lose your gum in someone's mouth?"

Right! Right. I had forgotten that Olivia's explanation had been an entirely false one, because there was no way she could have lost her gum in my mouth. After all, you can't really do that unless you're, you know, making out with someone, and Olivia and I have never even kissed much less… made out…

Yeah, I'll move on.

"It was seventh grade." She sighed, not removing her forehead from her knees. "With Jeremy Goldberg."

"Uh…" Elliot piped up, a pained look on his delightful, chiseled face. "You lost your gum in someone's mouth when you were twelve?"

"Eleven."

"Jesus Christ."

She furrowed her eyebrows as her head shot up from where it had rested, "You know, it isn't my fault, I was chewing gum and talking to him and mid sentence the kid just goes in for a kiss. I nearly choked, and instead of, you know, **dying** I coughed my gum into his mouth, you assholes."

"I didn't say anything." Munch whimpered.

"Oh yeah, for once." I snapped, feeling good about getting the hate on Munch rolling again. To tell you the truth, I almost thought that was a better game than this stupid shit. All this damn game had succeeded in doing was embarrassing the hell out of me.

"I'm not an asshole. I was just remarking that that was a young age o be losing your gum in people's mouths."

"Don't judge me."

"I'm not!" He exclaimed, yelling loudly in my fucking ear. God. Had I known this shit was going to go down all damn day I wouldn't have wedged my way between Thing One and Thing Loud Ass Bitch.

"Hey!" I yelled, turning to him. "Do you mind? I'm sitting right fucking next to you!"

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry Al-"

"Do you just want to switch spots?"

"Well, I mean, are you sure?"

I rolled my eyes. Of course I was sure. Any shit was better than being talked over.

"Here." Olivia nudged me slightly, motioning for me to switch with her instead. "Sit between me and Casey."

"Are you seriously that unwilling to be near me?" Munch sighed. He looked almost hurt. I felt almost bad.

"Yes."

"Bitch."

"Oh knock it off." Casey sighed, plopping her head back against the wall of the elevator as Olivia slid over me to take her spot next to Elliot. "Whose turn is it anyway?"

"Oh, it's mine!" The sad look on Munch's face was gone, and it had been replaced by ne of pure joy.

He made me sick.

"Never have I ever known all the words to "Hit Me Baby One More Time"."

"I swear to God…" Olivia sighed, folding yet another finger into her fist, along with Casey, Elliot and myself.

God.

I hated this game.

* * *

A/N: I am so excited for the season premiere! AND OMG I AM SO EXCITED FOR LAW AND ORDER: LA. SO. EXCITE.


	7. Slept With

**Never Have I Ever**

Disclaimer: Sorry about the shortness of the last chapter, I'll try to make this one more awesome. I'm updating pretty quickly because I felt the last one did not bring the funny appropriately, and I hope to have made up for it with this chapter.

Oh yeah, and I don't own crap. :]

* * *

**Chapter 7: Slept With… Munch's POV**

Just so you all are aware, I really have not ever known all the words to any Britney Spears song.

Unfortunately I was, apparently, the only one among us who could say so.

Jesus Christ, what was the world coming to?

"Are you fucking kidding me, Elliot?" Olivia exclaimed as her buddy put a finger down. And yeah, even though she too had curled a finger into her quickly forming fist, I was far more surprised by Macho Man's trivial knowledge.

Maybe the next time we all get stuck in an elevator again I'll remember to bring my Trivial Pursuit cards and we can team up. Who knows, maybe I misjudged the caveman. He could be like Albert Einstein or something.

Which, I guess, means no math questions for him.

"What, you're as guilty as I am, you crazy woman!"

"Exactly, I am a woman and that song came out when I was like, twenty-five, why wouldn't I know all the words to it?"

"Well, firstly because I thought you were of some degree of intelligence."

"Wait, what?" Casey cut in, obviously offended since she too knew all the words. Why did all these bitches want to be hit one more time, anyway? God, I fear for the fucking future. "That doesn't make any sense, Elliot, you know all the words too, God dammit!"

"I have three daughters!" He exclaimed. Good defense. Good enough? Eh, I think not, but at least now he has an excuse, unlike the other three.

"I know it because my ex-boyfriend had a thing for her." Alex said nonchalantly, as if trying to speak her peace without anyone noticing. Hah. Like I wouldn't notice.

I grinned at her maliciously, "Your boyfriend liked Britney Spears?"

"Yeah, he liked her like he wanted to fuck her, not like he thought her music was exceptional and beautiful."

"Then why did he listen to the song enough times for you to learn all of the words?"

"You know, I don't have to explain myself to you, asshole."

I really think Alex and I needed to hang out on our own and resolve some of this bullshit that was between us, because honestly, if no one else was sick of her constant badgering of me, I fucking was.

That and I think the tension between us really needed to be broken, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, going back to the situation that had so graciously befallen us…

"It would just be nice to get some understanding of the situation, Alex. If you didn't want us to inquire why would you bring it up?"

She shot me a glare that could melt the polar icecaps faster than global warming and crossed her arms over her chest angrily. Again, do you see what I mean? She obviously needed to get laid or have someone tell her she was pretty. Maybe I could persuade Olivia to do so, since Alex seemed so very keen on _that_ idea.

And by that I meant persuade Olivia to tell Alex she was pretty, not persuade her to fuck her, because I was not, am not, and will never be in the mood to be castrated by a co-worker. It's just not one of my greater desires, really.

Alex growled softly and turned her attention to Casey, who, of all of us, seemed to be the most calm about everything. Maybe it was because of the lack of tension between her and anyone else in the elevator. I'm sure if Fin had been here her mood would not have so delightful. "Casey, why do _you_ know all the words to the song?"

Casey grinned her big, 'I'm in such a good mood because all of you are in such a bad mood' grin and giggled, "Because I _fucking love_ Britney Spears. I have like four of her cds in my car."

"Don't they have standards in law school anymore?" Elliot smirked. "I thought you had to be like, intelligent to get in."

Olivia pursed her lips and turned to look at the burly, smug man sitting next to her with an expression of anything but healthy and friendly admiration. "I don't understand why you keep going on about the lack of intelligence thing when you admitted to knowing all the words yourself, douche bag."

"Seriously." Alex scoffed, obviously looking for any target to unleash her rage.

"Hey, I just said I had three daughters that grew up in the 90s. So sue me if on the way to soccer practice they wanted to listen to her."

"You're a grown ass man! More importantly, you're the parent! Turn the fucking radio off if you don't want to listen to it!" Olivia paused as a new idea popped into her head. I say that as though I know because, trust me. I do know. Her new idea was just dripping down her face as she smirked evilly. "You listened to it because you liked it."

"Wha-No-Olivia!" Even more hilarious than Olivia's face was Elliot's as he sputtered and stuttered and did his best to prove her wrong with some intellectual verbiage. As you might have noticed, he did not succeed. "No I don't! I can't believe you'd assume so!"

"Jesus, it's not like we're saying you like Hitler or fucking serial killers, Elliot." Casey rolled her eyes. "It's just Britney Spears. It's ok to like her."

"Yeah." Nodded Alex. "Not that I do, I'm just saying it would be ok if you did."

"Exactly." Olivia smiled sweetly, but the kind of sweet that is really quite the opposite. You know the type, malicious. Scary. Not ok in anyway. "We wouldn't judge you."

"They're telling you that they accept your homosexuality in nicer terms, Elliot." I smirked. "You can admit to loving Lady Ga Ga and Justin Bieber too."

"Firstly, Munch, you're a dick." I apparently had crossed the line. Oh no. I was so scared. Boo. Hoo. "I am not gay, not that there is anything wrong with that-"

"No." Alex chipped in quickly. Very quickly. "Nothing."

"At all." Casey agreed with a firm nod. "It's very ok. Especially here, in this elevator. We're all very open people."

Olivia kept that sick grin on her face as she too responded with agreement, "Yes, all of us. Some of us more than others."

"What is that suppose to mean?" If I didn't know any better, I would honestly think that Alex was feeling… personally victimized. She narrowed her eyes at Olivia as she awaited an explanation.

"Well we all know how comfortable Munch is with the idea. Teen in the 60's and what not."

"I'm so down." I nodded, wondering if by now Olivia's grin was mirrored on my own face. "Totally chill, man."

"Oh shut the hell up, all of you." Elliot sighed. "Also, I hate Lady Ga Ga and Justin Bieber."

"Do you really?" Casey asked sadly. "I love that song 'Runaway Love' and I love 'Bad Romance'."

And I swear to you, as if on fucking cue all three of the fucking crazy ass women busted out with, "**RA-RA, UH UH UH, RUM-AH, RUM-A-AH, GA GA OH LA LA!**"

Elliot and I gawked at the three of them, unsure of really what emotion we should be feeling at the moment.

"Elliot, get the fuck up and make that God damn emergency phone to work. We need to get the fuck out of here, I am scared shitless, I swear to God."

"Oh don't even Munch." Alex laughed. "I bet you love some bad romance."

"I bet he wants…" Casey started, stopping to giggle uncontrollably. "Oh my God, ok, ok, I bet he wants, wants your loving, he wants your revenge."

"No! No!" Olivia squealed, holding her sides as tears leaked from her eyes. "He wants your ugly, he wants your disease, he wants your everything as long as it's free!"

Alex, also laughing her fucking ass off, joined in, "Or does he want my psycho, my vertigo stick?"

"I swear to God, I don't want any of your psycho. I've dealt with it all damn day."

"Buzz killll!" Casey exclaimed, still laughing, although it was, thankfully, much softer and calmer.

"Hey," Olivia said, very seriously, looking at me sternly. "Don't be mad cause you and she, you had a bad romance."

And after a moments pause they were all doubled over again, screaming so loudly that Elliot and I honestly had to cover our ears.

"Do you think," I hollered at him, "If we killed them we'd get off on an insanity plea?"

"Hell yes we would!"

"Oh knock it off…" Casey smiled, holding her stomach that probably hurt from all of her hee-hawing. She probably should have been holding her nose, too. Nose laugher. "If you want I'll continue with the game."

"Yes." Elliot said immediately. "Get on with the fucking game."

"All right." She grinned. "Never have I-"

"Hold up." Olivia cut her off.

"I swear to God, Liv," Elliot seethed, "I love you, but if you start with any more Lady Ga Ga shit I will rip out your tongue."

"With what, your teeth?" Casey snorted. "You'd like that, huh?"

"Oh shut up, both of you." Olivia groaned, rolling her eyes. "I was _going_ to say, could we please see how many fingers each of us has down?"

"Oh…" Elliot said quietly, trying not to blush. I swear, was everyone in this elevator in love with someone else? Anyway, he punched the buttons on the cell phones, lighting them up again. "I uh, I have three down."

"As do I." Casey nodded.

Alex also had three.

I grinned as Olivia pouted and muttered, "Four."

"And I have two down." I sighed. "I'm fucking losing.

"Oh shut up and don't be a sore winner." Casey said, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to go on unless anyone has anymore interjections."

She waited a moment and looked around, waiting for and daring one of us to say something.

"No? Good." She grinned and cleared her throat (through her nose), "Never have I ever slept with someone in this elevator."

Alex and I looked each other quickly before turning and glaring at Casey.

"You're a bitch." I muttered softly as Alex and I tucked another finger away.

"Oh _fuck_." She groaned, covering her face with her hands. "I didn't know that. I thought it was a fucking joke! Oh dear CHRIST!"

Olivia giggled, "I guess Casey can't read their poke-poke-poke-poker faces."

And all of us turned to her and shouted, "Shut the fuck up."

* * *

A/N: Just so you all know, my opinions on everything expressed in this chapter are neutral, so don't think I'm a hater or anything. Quite the contrary, I'm a lover of all things weird and awesome. \m/ ^_^ \m/


	8. Been So

**Never Have I Ever**

Disclaimer: So I don't own anything. Also, I realized it was confusing to not specify who is narrating each chapter, so I went back and wrote each person's POV at the top of their chapter. :]

Also, I think everyone should know this is not an overly shippy story. This is more of a crack type fic. Not overly cracky, though, of course. Anyway, I say this because I don't want anyone to get their hopes up too high. Of course, shippy comments and things will be done, and the ships will change depending upon the POV. :D

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**Chapter 8: Been So… Elliot's POV**

"Dear Christ Almighty!" Casey exclaimed, her hands over her ears as if she were trying not to hear the sound of her own screams. Really, I think it should have been the rest of us plugging our ears.

And, I would like to tell you that I was kidding when I say she'd been doing that pretty much nonstop for the past two minutes, squeezing her eyes shut and yelling out religious type things intermixed with some heartfelt swears. "God, fuck, oh, oh _shit_ you guys! What the hell? Oh my God, What the **fuck**? What, why? What is- No, just, I don't even want to know. Oh my God. Jesus. God! _**Why**_?"

And I wish that I could tell you that I was just kidding when I said you could literally feel the heat radiating from Munch and Alex's bright red blushes.

But, you know, I wasn't kidding. And it was really, _really_ sad.

"Calm the hell down Casey." Olivia sighed, seeming like she felt as awkward as I did while rolling her eyes and picking up her cell phone to check the time and light the screen up again. She played it cooler than I did though, even though I'm sure she did feel extremely awkward. She hated whenever people that weren't her made fun of her friend, Little Miss Stick Up Her Butt Cabot. "Seriously. And really, do you want to fucking know the story or don't you? We can't tell from your rant. Jeeze."

"I just… Why? What in the hell? And no, _**no**__, Jesus_, no I don't want to know!"

Alex was glaring at our former ADA with a passion I had initially assumed was reserved for Munch, and Munch alone.

Obviously I was wrong.

"Thank you, Casey, for making an awkward situation _that much better_."

"Seriously." Munch said quietly. "It's bad enough I get crap from her all the time, I don't need you making me feel like shit on top of it."

"I don't give you crap all the time!"

Olivia snorted at Alex's retort and leaned her head on my shoulder, "Elliot, Elliot, oh man, she says she doesn't give him crap all the time."

"I know." I smirked, "I thought it was funny too."

"Oh shut up." She growled, flipping her hair back and looking back to Casey. "Look, we don't say anything about you and Fin, so leave us alone. We're consenting adults, we'll do what we want. As long as it's legal."

"Was it legal?" Olivia grinned, sliding her phone back in front of her. "Or was it so naughty you could have been locked up for it?"

"Really, Liv? Really?" Munch sighed loudly and Alex punched Olivia in the arm, eliciting a wince from my partner.

"Hey, hey, everyone, seriously, knock it off." I said diplomatically, trying my best to be concerned with everyones well being, even though I kinda hadn't cared until fists were flying. Specifically into Olivia.

What? Like I said before, I just like to look out for her, you know?

…Right. Um. Anyway.

Casey still had her jaw on the floor, obviously shocked by all of this new and mildly horrifying information. Well, I guess it is kinda weird the first time you really think about it. Liv and I were both pretty grossed out by it the first time we heard about because… Well…

It's Munch.

And fuck.

It's Alex.

It's just weird, you know?

I would assume everyone would be equally weirded out if they had found out I had sex with Olivia, right?

Not that I have had sex with Olivia, I'm just saying, in theory, like, if we did have sex and people found out.

They'd… Think it was weird… I think…

And Munch would say some shit like, "Wow, saw that coming." Because he's a dick.

Right?

Ok, that was a bad example anyway. I'll… I'll drop it.

"It's just weird." Casey breathed, her face scrunched up in disgust. "Cause it's you two. It's like, the last thing I'd expect."

Olivia giggled and covered her face with her hand, "Wait, so… You'd expect Elliot and Munch before Alex and Munch?"

I'm pretty sure my face twisted up even more than Casey's as I pulled away to look at Liv. What the hell was wrong with her? Was being stuck in this elevator literally making her go bat shit crazy?

"Well," Munch said, one of his asshole smirks creeping onto his face, "I have always admired Elliot from afar…"

I glared at him slightly, "Yeah, and it better stay afar, dammit."

"So much hostility…" Olivia clucked. "Especially from a man who listens to Britney Spears."

"I don't listen to Britney Spears, dammit!"

She giggled and threw an arm around my shoulder, giving me a slight squeeze, "I know, but it was nice for Alex to have the attention away from her for a moment, huh?"

Rolling my eyes, I huffed loudly and crossed my arms over my chest, trying and failing to stay mad at her. It wasn't my fault that she was adorable and difficult to be angry with, so shut the fuck up.

"Yeah, whatever."

"It's ok, Elliot." Munch smirked. "We'll come to terms with your budding sexuality later. As for now, I think we should move on to bigger and better things."

"Of course you do." Casey laughed, "You're tired of being made fun of, why wouldn't you want to move on to another question?"

"Well gosh, Blondie, I just thought we could move along so that we could finish the game."

"We aren't even halfway done!"

"Exactly! We keep stopping to explain ourselves!"

"That's the best part of the game, you moron!"

This could go on forever. No lie. Trust me when I say this, if there was one thing that Munch was really good at, it was getting blonde women to yell at him all the time.

"I don't know, I kinda like the creative questioning process."

"Munch, did you not even get the point of the game when you read it?" She sighed and placed her head in her hand, clearly annoyed. It was pretty funny actually. Alex, Olivia and I were enjoying the show, anyway. "You're supposed to learn about the people you play with. If you just say what you've done you just scratch the surface and no real bond is made."

"So this is supposed to be a bonding process? Is that what you think this is?"

"I think it's just an unfortunate circumstance of being stuck in an elevator with nothing to do." Olivia piped up, grin on her face as she snaked her arm from around my shoulders to around my waist. I guess her arm had gotten tired, or something.

"Agreed." Alex sighed. "But hey, if we are gonna move on we may as well do it now since it is my turn."

"If you are ready," Munch said with a nod, "Go for it. Distract this crazy bitch with something you've never done."

"Fuck you, Munch."

Alex rolled her eyes and stretched out her six remaining fingers in front of her as she pondered upon things she had never done. I judged by her long silence that the list was very short.

"Never have I ever…" She began dramatically, as though hers was going to be something exciting and crazy. I doubted it, but hey, I was in no position to really care. I was still mostly excited to just get out of the damn elevator.

Although it was nice spending so much time outside of work with my partner, doing something fun. We haven't really done fun-ish things in a long time.

And yeah, this was sadly the closest thing to 'outside of work' and 'fun' that we would probably ever get.

That shouldn't upset me, should it?

"Never have I ever been so stoned that I couldn't move."

I laughed a little bit. That was creative enough. I shrugged a little and looked around as I put a finger down, followed by Munch, Casey and Olivia.

Now this was going to be fun to discuss.

* * *

A/N: I know, I know, they probably have never and would never do any of this stuff, but hey, it makes for good times and giggles, right?


	9. Been Involved in

**Never Have I Ever**

Disclaimer: So I don't own anything. Also, I know, the fic is getting long, isn't it? It's going to get longer, muhaha! Also, this chapter is kinda for all the E/O shippers. o.0 Hope you like it...

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**Chapter 9: Been Involved in… Casey's POV**

Yes.

Yes, to all of you reading, the answer to (almost) all of your questions is yes. Especially if your questions are along the lines of, 'Did Olivia _seriously_ just say that?' or 'Is Alex **really** blushing?' or 'Oh_** HELL NAH**_, did they seriously just start singing fucking 'Bad Romance'?'.

Because, _hell yeah_, we did.

And yes, Elliot did know all the words to 'Hit Me Baby, One More Time'.

And, yes, ugh, _God_, Munch and Alex admitted to having sex.

And, yes, more than anything, yes I was feeling very ill with enlightenment.

No, seriously, I wanted to throw up.

It really didn't help that along with that Olivia and Elliot decided to get all cute and coupley, even though, 'they're not totally in love or anything like that, Casey, you're crazy for thinking so!'

Yeah. Fucking. Right.

Anyway, I was just catching you up, and more importantly than that I was keeping the facts straight, because, in case you didn't find out in previous chapters some of us are _fucking _liars, ALEX.

And apparently, some of us are or have been users of ganja.

I'm going to assume that it's something in the past for most of us, although I don't know, old habits die hard, and Munch is old enough to have some pretty old habits, if you know what I mean.

God, I still can't believe he slept with Alex. Weird. Gross. Ok, ok, I'll move on.

I'm just saying, it's gross, ok?

"Well that's interesting," Munch said with a smirk. "All of us but Alex have been stoned."

"Please don't say we should change that, Munch." Olivia sighed, rolling her eyes and snuggling into Elliot. Like I said, they're not in love. At all.

Again, yeah.

Right.

"Well I wasn't going to." He pouted. "After all, we are officers of the law, and that would be morally reprehensible."

Elliot snickered slightly, wrapping an arm around his partner, who he was not in love with. "No it wouldn't. It would just be wrong legally."

"Unfortunately." The old hippie grumbled. "I hope they change that law soon. You know it's on the ballot in California this year. Maybe we'll follow along in its gloriously blue footsteps."

"You act as though it's a big deal here." Elliot continued, rolling his eyes. "It's like getting a speeding ticket. No one cares the first time you get caught."

"True. We still get drug tested, though."

"Are they abolishing the drug testing in California, too?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow with a smile spreading across her lips. Her mood seemed to be brightening for some reason. Maybe the whole getting her dirty laundry out in the open for all of us to see, mock, and be disgusted by helped relieve some of her hostility.

Who cares why, though? It was just a nice change from the uber bitch she'd been all day.

"I'm actually not sure. I haven't checked up on it in awhile. I'll do that once we're out of here."

"If we ever get out of here." Olivia sighed loudly, wrapping her free arm around her stomach. "I'm getting hungry."

Hah. She was weak. Man, I hope that didn't sound too creepy. "It's only been like, a half hour you know."

"I know, but talking about weed is giving me the munchies."

"Is that actually true?" Oh Alex. So naïve. "I thought that was a myth, like… I don't know. Other things."

"Like the Loch Ness Monster?" I grinned, gaining a glare in return. Munch, however, ignored my _hilarious _comment and barged on ahead.

"No, it actually does promote healthy eating habits. Not necessarily in what you chose to eat, but how you eat. It's why sometimes doctors prescribe medicinal marijuana to patients suffering from anorexia nervosa."

"Wow, Munch." I laughed. "You sure seem to know a lot about the subject."

"What can I say? I'm well read."

"Or experienced." Olivia smirked.

He pouted, wrapping his arms tightly around him, "Not like you didn't put a finger down, stoner."

"Stoner? Whatever, I've NEVER been a stoner. I've just been stoned. And I only did it once. It was a terrible experience and so I never did it again."

"Yeah." Elliot nodded. "I too was a one time wonder. It wasn't my thing."

"Oh come on." Munch sighed dramatically, rolling his head towards me. "Come on Casey, don't be a liar like these three. How often did you hit the bong?"

"I only did that a couple times." I grinned. "I was more of an apple person in high school."

"A woman after my own heart." He laughed, looking at the three squares bunched up in the corner. "Or… She would have been, back when I did that sort of thing, of course."

Olivia sighed yet again and stretched her legs out, draping them over Alex's knees. "Not like any of us care if she's one now. I mean, except maybe Alex."

Elliot grinned stupidly as Alex threw up a middle finger in her friend's direction. Aw. They were all so cute.

Gag me.

"It doesn't really matter." Munch shrugged. "I also don't believe that you two only did it once."

"I did." Elliot said casually. "I didn't like that I couldn't finish a sentence, so I decided there was no point in doing it again."

"How in the hell did you get that stoned on your first attempt? How?"

He grinned and shrugged, "I'm super."

And, get this, Olivia giggled.

Not laughed. Giggled.

And at this point I honestly thought that maybe we'd been in this elevator for too long.

"Super arrogant." Alex scoffed, looking around with a slight smile, her good mood growing. Maybe we were all cracking up because the oxygen levels were depleting. Maybe that was why Alex was becoming nice, Munch was being… more himself, and Olivia and Elliot were digressing to teenagers who were all up ons.

Well, if this was so then what in the hell was going to become of me?

"He's not _super_ arrogant." Olivia smirked, nudging him slightly. "He's more like, _insanely_ arrogant."

"Oh ha ha." He replied with an eye roll. "It's not like you don't think you're hot shit."

"I do not think I'm hot shit!" She gasped, jerking away from him, a look of offense scrawled all over her face. "I _know_ I'm hot shit!"

"Oh dear Christ…" I sighed. "Whose turn is it?"

"I just went." Alex laughed, popping a knee up so that Olivia's legs slid off of her. "So it's Liv's turn."

"Oh goodie." Munch dead panned.

"Hey, shut up, Munch, I totally have a good one."

Yeah. Like I said, teenagers.

"You, like, Oh my GOD totally have a good one, or just, like you totally have a, like, good one?" He replied, getting a chuckle out of Alex.

"I totally Oh My GOD have a fucking great one, ok?" Olivia grinned and readjusted herself next to Elliot before spreading out her five remaining fingers. "Ok, kiddos, take this. Never have I ever been involved in an orgy or threesome."

Well shit. I'm sure you already know by my last entry that this one obviously applied to me, unfortunately.

I sighed loudly as I, sadly, put down a finger, all by my lonesome.

And man, didn't that make me feel like I was in such _great_ company.

* * *

A/N: I don't know why, ok. Casey just seemed like she would be the one who would be the most scandalous. So, onto the games! Guess who is next! : D


	10. Eaten

**Never Have I Ever**

Disclaimer: So I don't own anything. Also, I know, the fic is getting long, isn't it? It's going to get longer, muhaha!

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**Chapter 10: Eaten… Olivia's POV**

Wow. Well, I… Well, no, I can't say I really expected anyone to have participated in an orgy. Or a threesome. I mean, I don't really consider myself the most _virginal_ person, but I just… Well, to be honest I really hate being left out of things, and you're damn likely to be left out of something when participating in a threesome, I mean lets be honest.

And even if you aren't the one being left out, you are the one doing the leaving out, which means someone is just chilling in bed with you while you do your thing, and, quite frankly, I am not really ok with that.

Unlike our apparent exhibitionist Casey Novak.

You'd assume ADAs would have some shame.

Actually, thinking about that, you probably wouldn't.

After all, they're still lawyers.

Um. Don't tell Alex I said that… Or let her read this. Or… yeah, just keep it away from her. Thanks.

"Oh come on…" Casey groaned loudly, dropping her head into her hand. "I'm not seriously the only person who has… Done. That."

"Funny that you seem so embarrassed." Munch smirked, looking awfully intrigued by the idea of Casey being in a- Oh God, oh, oh God, no. Ugh, mental images, Jesus Christ…

"Seriously." She sighed, throwing him a 'look' that only Casey could throw. Honestly the 'look' didn't much freak me out, after all, it wasn't as terrible as Alex's 'look', but it sure as hell made the guys uncomfortable.

I wonder if there's a reason why…

"You, of ALL people, Munch, must have been in a… You know."

He feigned innocence in an attempt to cover up how squeamish she made him, and gave her another creepy ass grin. "No, no I don't, Casey. What are you implying that I've done, exactly?"

"Had a threesome, damn it!"

Alex's eyes widened, conveying her shock as she sat quietly next to me. She hadn't said anything in awhile, nor had she shot daggers at our… old… friend. Maybe getting the whole 'sleeping with him' off her chest was actually doing her some good.

But I could be wrong. She could have been dying.

Or something.

"I actually haven't. I was a scrawny little Jewish teen in the sixties, the free love thing was a little over my head."

Casey made some sort of strangled noise that sounded kind of like a cat being sucked into a vacuum cleaner and crossed her arms over her chest with a huff. "Well it's not my fault you're all prudes."

"I'm not a prude." Elliot shrugged, smiling a little bit, you know how he does.

You do know, right? I'm not, I mean, I can't be the only one who's _noticed_…

Ok, shut up.

"It's just that…" He went on, shifting and cracking his back, "I'm not into the idea of sharing my wife with some other guy, and I figure I can't be a hypocrite and ask to bring another girl home, right?"

"You know." Alex piped up, suddenly. Finally. "I've never really understood the whole threesome idea. I mean, how much attention will you get? What if you're the less hot of the two girls? Or what if there are two guys? You're obviously going to pay more attention to one than the other, so what's the point, you know?"

Thank God for like-minded people.

"Maybe you'd like to watch." Casey muttered quietly. I'm pretty sure all of us wore the same pain stricken faces as we stared at her, too.

"You… like to watch, Case?" I said, trying to crack a sardonic smile as I did.

I failed, of course, being too disturbed by the new information she had laid before us.

"I-What, no, I didn't say that."

"So you like to be watched?" Elliot asked, raising an eyebrow and looking at me, horror written all over his face. I shrugged. After all, I had no idea, just like he had no idea, that Casey was such a sick puppy.

I mean, yeah, it was kinda cool to know she was twisted, but you there's only so much twist I can take before I get a little bent out of shape.

Not that I had room to judge. Not that I wanted to judge. It's just… It's just that some things weird you out.

Knowing that one of your good friends likes to be watched (or watch, depending on whether or not she was feeling totally honest) while having intimate relations is _a little weird_.

I mean, now that's all you'll think about. You won't be able to help it. I mean, you'll get over it, of course, and the thought won't linger for too long but it will be there. Any time they walk into a room, call you, text you, send you a link to a youtube site. How can you open any mail from them ever again? How do you know they won't be sending you some seriously fucked up shit to look at?

I know, I'm exaggerating a little bit, but this is just the human thought process.

Right?

"I didn't say that either!" She exclaimed. "I was just… putting the idea out there, that maybe that's why one would enjoy a threesome!"

"Is that why you enjoyed it?" Munch smirked, playfully giving her leg a light tap with his foot.

"No, God- Fuck you all."

Elliot laughed and ran a hand through his hair before putting his arm around my shoulder again. "Jesus, Casey. You are seriously the fucking reason you can't judge a book by its cover."

"Oh shut up." She whined, looking terribly upset and attacked. Well, as well she should. "You don't even know if I enjoyed it."

"Did you?" I grinned.

"Olivia, I will slap the fuck out of you."

"Kinky."

"Dear God…" Alex sighed, letting her head drop back against the wall.

"Don't worry Alex, we'll let you join in. Casey won't mind."

"Oh my God, Olivia!" They exclaimed in unison, cracking the guys and me up. …Huh. I was kinda like one of the guys.

Jesus, I need to hang out with some chicks.

"Can we just… Move the fuck on!" Casey cried, grabbing her phone up and pressing the menu button. "I have five fingers left."

"Me too." I nodded. Dammit. We were losing.

"I'm pretty sure the rest of us have six left." Elliot said quietly. "And it's my turn."

"Oh goodie." Munch deadpanned, obviously not thrilled to hear Elliot's confession. Or uh, lack thereof.

"Shut up, you old fart." Elliot smirked, stretching his fingers out. "Never have I ever eaten…"

"Sweet Lord…" Casey sighed, under her breath. Elliot shot her a look and rolled his eyes.

"Venison."

* * *

A/N: Yeah, it's short, but I wanted to update it. Sorry updates are taking a bit longer, I have a pretty full schedule :\


	11. Had A

**Never Have I Ever**

Disclaimer: So I don't own anything.

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**Chapter 11: Had a… Munch's POV**

God. Elliot made me ashamed to be a male some times. He seemed to enjoy coming up with TERRIBLY boring things he had never done. Well, perhaps he'd actually done everything worth doing.

No, no he hasn't. Otherwise he would have won the game already.

How depressing.

"Elliot." I sighed loudly, pressing two fingers to my temple. "Why do you give the worst suggestions?"

"Hey my last suggestion wasn't bad!" He exclaimed, tossing his hands in the air. "This one wasn't really either, I mean, I haven't eaten venison, but Liv has! I'm playing the game to win here, man."

I raised an eyebrow at Olivia. She was just… so full of surprises. I liked this game more and more every minute.

Although venison is particularly disgusting, so I didn't really find that an attractive… um, what would the word be? Experience?

"Oh?" I went on, looking at the only pretty detective in my squad. "You've tasted delicious Bambie hide, Olivia?"

"I have." She sighed, putting down another finger. Jesus, she was down to four! Not that I was doing much better. I held up one hand to show that I was down to five.

"It's disgusting, isn't it?"

"Huh." She chuckled humorlessly, "Glad you agree."

"We seem to see eye to eye pretty often."

"Which is pretty concerning, Liv." Elliot grinned. "Maybe you should look into the republican party."

I rolled my eyes, "Wow, that's more disgusting than the venison."

"You know, you all are crazy," Alex said, flipping her hair back. "I think it tastes just fine."

I thought Olivia's eyebrows were going to shoot off of her face as she turned to look at our creepy little friend.

"Excuse me?"

Alex smiled a sheepish and almost adorable smile before shrugging slightly. "I have… interesting tastes..."

"Boy have we learned." Casey muttered. Alex gave her a quick glare, and while the intention was there it was definitely lacking the irritation that had been present earlier in the day. Maybe being pissed off and uptight was exhausting her.

It was always exhausting to me.

By that I mean whenever I was pissed and uptight I was stressed, but I guess her being uptight and pissed also made me stressed.

But at the same time it amused the hell out of me, and I was kind of missing it now that she was being everybody's best buddy.

"Does that mean Olivia is in the lead now?" Casey continued, clearly growing bored, or weary of the dark elevator. I will admit, if anyone wasn't tired of the elevator by that point, they were sick. Very sick.

I'm pretty sure Olivia and Elliot were enjoying themselves though. I can't be sure, but they seemed to be pretty cozy what with all the lights being off and Alex not cramping their style anymore.

"Am I?" She asked, sitting up a little bit straighter and looking down at her four fingers. "Well, how many do you have left, Case?"

"Five. I've never eaten deer meat, thank you very much."

"I have six." Elliot grinned up at his partner. "I haven't either."

"Good to know my partner is a sissy." She laughed, nudging him in the shoulder lightly and very nearly drooling all over him.

All right, I exaggerate, but they were… really, really, oh what's a good word to describe them? Let's just say they were very unknowingly into each other, and it was making the rest of us sick. And if not he two ADAs, it was definitely grossing me out.

"A sissy? I just never had the urge to try venison. I've never been offered, so how am I a sissy?"

She grinned and slid back down closer to him, a flirty look on her face, "So if I offered you some venison… you'd eat it?"

"I would definitely eat it."

Wow. This was really just getting out of hand.

"Right!" Alex exclaimed. Ah, clearly I wasn't the only one uncomfortable with the situation. "I have five left, how about you Munch?"

"I also have five, Miss Cabot. It seems that Olivia is winning."

"Or losing." Casey cut in.

"You called it winning when you were tied with her."

"Yeah, well, I'm just saying it could be either, Munch, ok?"

"You guys are all nut bags," Elliot sighed, looking at his phone, either to check the time or to light up the dark room. "It's just a game."

"Hey, you're the one playing to win!"

He rolled his eyes, "I was just saying that, Casey, Jesus."

"It doesn't really matter anyway," Alex yawned, "the whole point is that we find out what sick fucks our friends are, and if we haven't accomplished that by now then we should seriously just quit because we aren't going to get much more disgusting than we already have."

"It could have been worse." I shrugged. "We could have played truth or dare."

"Or spin the bottle." Casey said sarcastically. "Because we're all fifteen and never been kissed."

"I'm sure you were kissed long before fifteen." Olivia laughed.

"For your information, Liv, I was not kissed until I was nineteen."

"No way!" Alex exclaimed. "You're a liar!"

Casey grinned sheepishly and laughed, "Ah, fuck you guys, my first kiss was when I was twelve."

Alex and Olivia rolled their eyes while Casey giggled, and Elliot turned to me, "Isn't it your turn, Munch?"

"It is, my fine fellow officer." I nodded, clearing my throat slightly and pondering what I could say. We'd pretty much covered everything I hadn't done, at least things that I could think of. I had never done cocaine or murdered anyone or anything, but I seriously doubted my companions had either, so it would have been pointless to say.

"Ok, I've got one. Never have I ever had, or induced, a pregnancy scare."

"Wait, what?" Olivia asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Basically none of the women I've been with have ever had a pregnancy scare."

"And it definitely would have been a scare, not a blessed event." Alex smiled at me and I shot her a glare.

"Funny, Cabot. Anyway, so… put your fingers down if you ever thought you or your partner was pregnant."

"Can't you just say wife?" Elliot asked, rolling his eyes and putting a finger down.

Man, someone was a little bit sensitive.

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A/N: So this silliness is almost done! A few more chapters and all will be well. ^.^ Let me know what you think!


	12. Been Locked in

**Never Have I Ever**

Disclaimer: So I don't own anything. Also, I'm thinking of writing another humor fic in the same spirit of this fic and **Marry, Fuck, Kill** but possibly a little more… eh… Raunchy is the wrong word, but it's the first that comes to mind. ;] Let me know what you all think.

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**Chapter 12: Been Locked in… Alex's POV**

Munch was such an asshole sometimes. Of course, sometimes it was hilarious, and this time was definitely one of those times.

I hated to admit it, of course, but it was true. I mean, you can imagine it. Elliot all irritated and fuming and red in the face because he had induced probably (at least) twenty pregnancy scares, one or more (I think it was two, actually) resulting in real pregnancies and now real children.

God, it really was _so _hilarious.

It also helped that I had never had a pregnancy scare of my own, because, let's be real, if I had I probably would have been pissed too.

"Does missing your period and worrying about it count as a pregnancy scare?" Olivia asked inquisitively, looking towards Munch with a curious expression on her face.

Munch looked down at his hands, thoughtful for only a minute before meeting her eyes again with a wicked grin, "Yes."

It was a very _Mean Girls_ moment, and I snickered quietly under my breath.

Olivia and Elliot both shot me a glare and Liv turned to address Munch again, "Yeah, but… What if I hadn't been sexually active within three months prior, so I was just worried as to why I might've skipped?"

"Well, shit, Liv, I don't know. Did the thought "Oh gee, could I be pregnant?" ever cross your mind?"

She screwed up her face in contemplation as I bit my lip to keep from busting up with laughter. Man, I was feeling really giddy, which was weird because earlier I was _so_ pissed. I wonder what the oxygen levels in the elevator were at that moment.

Probably lower than they should be.

"Jesus Christ Olivia, just put a finger down." Casey sighed loudly, prompting us all to look at her and notice that she only had four fingers remaining.

"Oh shit!" I cried out, a grin spreading across my face. "You too? Ha, I'm AWESOME."

"Oh shut up Alex." Elliot growled.

"Obviously she just doesn't have enough sex to ever have a pregnancy scare." Olivia grinned, reaching out and poking me, which I'm sure she thought made everything ok. It didn't.

"… Ha. Ha."

"Or she just has sex with people who have a really low sperm count." Casey added. She obviously took a moment to think about that after saying it because she made a gagging sound as a pained look crossed her face. Munch rolled his eyes, feeling victimized, no doubt, and looked at me.

"Maybe she has sex with people who don't have sperm."

"What are you implying?"

"Oh calm down, Alex." Elliot sighed dramatically. "No one will find out you and Liv have been sleeping together, I told everyone it was a rumor."

"**WHAT**?"

Casey laughed her nasally nose laugh and Olivia rolled her eyes.

"I'm not sleeping with Olivia!"

"Even if she were," Munch interjected, "How would you be convincing in dispelling the rumors, Elliot?"

"Maybe he told everyone HE was sleeping with her to throw them off her trail." Casey grinned.

"Hello!" I exclaimed. "Olivia and I aren't sleeping together!"

Elliot laughed softly and looked over at me, "It's ok, Alex, I'm not sleeping with her either."

"Well I'm not upset about it or anything."

"Well," Olivia piped up, a big ass fake smile on her face, "My self esteem has just shot through the roof. Thanks guys. You're the fucking best."

"Oh…" I blushed. "I… I didn't mean it as an insult, Liv-"

"Did you mean it as a compliment?"

"No, no! I didn't mean it as… as anything!"

Munch was giggling like an asshole with Casey. See, this was one of those times where his asshole…ness was _NOT_ hilarious.

Not at all.

Olivia rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, "Well it's fine, because I don't want to sleep with any of you anyway. Bitches."

"Liar." Casey wheezed, trying to catch her breath. "You… earlier… thought about… all of us… sexually…. You whore."

"Oh shut up, I'm not a whore!" Liv was quiet for a few seconds before furrowing her brow and looking at Casey, "My gum tastes like shit now, Case. Here."

"Ew!" Casey growled, shooting Olivia a glare as the detective held out her sticky, saliva covered gum. "You're disgusting! Just swallow it!"

"I did." Munch nodded.

"Of course _you_ did." Elliot smirked.

"Oh fuck you."

"We aren't playing that game, Munch." I laughed slightly, rubbing at my temples. God, when in the fuck were we going to get out of here? We'd been in here for like, half an hour and the power hadn't even come back on. How long do most black outs last, because this shit was_ ridiculous_.

"Too bad." Seriously, Casey? Were you still that bitter about that stupid ass game? It wasn't even a big deal, nor was it that fun, so I don't know what in the hell that bitch was so busted up about.

Ok, well, it was kinda fun.

But I was drunk, so my opinion is basically invalid, right?

"Look, no one cares." Olivia sighed, still holding her gum in her fingers. "Let's talk about something that matters, like the fact that I don't swallow-"

Munch and Elliot snorted slightly. Men. Men are such pigs, honestly. Every single thing you can say, they can take it and make it disgusting and dirty.

"_MY GUM_." She finished, giving the two of them hearty glares. "Asshats. Get your minds out of the gutter."

"Says the girl that has three fingers left." Elliot laughed.

"No, says the girl that has fantasized about all of us." Munch corrected.

"Hey, hey, shut the fuck up, all of you, and seriously, someone take my gum because it's making my hands all sticky-"

All right look, before I tell you what happened next I need you all to promise me something. Can you do that? Can you promise me that you will not judge me or the fact that I'm a hypocrite? Good, good, then I'll continue.

Because of the filthy ass minds of the men in the elevator and their crude implications they had dragged me down into the gutter with them, and upon hearing Olivia's little, oh I don't even know what to call it, _sticky_ statement, I doubled over in laughter right along with those gross, disgusting, poor excuses for men.

And yes, I felt bad about judging them afterward. But you know, everyone is a hypocrite, so sue me for being a human being.

"You too?" Olivia sighed, shaking her head. "Come on guys, I don't want to hold on to this!"

"Ask Elliot to take it." Casey smirked. "I'm sure he won't mind having your gums, I mean gum in his mouth."

"Funny." They said in unison with the exact same sarcastic bite to their words. Casey raised an eyebrow and the two turned to give each other exhausted looks before Olivia held her hand out, "You'll swallow it for me, won't you?"

"Are you kidding?"

"No, Elliot! It's sticky and I'm stuck in an elevator and I'm losing this game and I'm upset, so just take my God damn gum!"

Elliot rolled his eyes and plucked the gum from her hand, "I'm only doing this so you'll stop bitching."

"I promise not to bitch if you eat it."

"That's what she said." Munch mumbled, causing Casey and I to giggle. God, everyone in this elevator was so _gross_. I'm blaming it on the exhausting circumstances we found ourselves in.

Anyway, Elliot rolled his eyes and popped the gum into his mouth before swallowing it with a loud gulp. "Happy?"

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph, you all are _FUCKING_ disgusting." Casey screwed up her face and looked almost as though she were about to hurl. "So, SO disgusting."

"Whatever, can we just move on?" Elliot sighed, looking thoroughly embarrassed. As well he should have.

"Sure thing, FREAK." Casey smirked. "It's my turn."

"Oh goodie." Olivia mumbled, slumping down a little bit, also looking rightly embarrassed.

Man, if I weren't so grossed out I'd have thought it was funny.

"Right, right, well, never have I ever… uh… Never have I ever been locked in handcuffs."

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A/N: Ok, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe Casey has ever been locked in handcuffs on the show, correct? Haha, let me know so I'm not wrong and such!


	13. B:L:ack Out

**Never Have I Ever**

**Disclaimer**: So I don't own anything. But I'm on an updating roll!

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**Chapter 13: B[L]ack Out… Olivia's POV**

This was interesting, and kind of cool, in a not really cool at all sort of way. I mean, after all, I'd been in handcuffs before. Hell, I'd been arrested _and_ I'd gone undercover in prison, and they all knew that (I think), so when I put my finger down they wouldn't really be able to question it.

Bad assed.

Because honestly, if I hadn't been arrested I still have to put a finger down.

And no, God dammit, I am not a whore.

Anyway I, along with Alex and Munch, dropped a finger. Interesting. I knew why _**I**_ had been in handcuffs (all four times), however this information about my colleagues was new and mildly concerning.

And… to be honest, I'm not sure if I really wanted to know why they'd been in handcuffs.

Especially if they'd been in handcuffs, you know, together.

Oh sweet Jesus…

"Wow." Casey laughed, grinning at me and punching a couple of buttons on her phone. "So, Olivia, is there a better reason for the fact that you're winning this game other than you being kind of a slut?"

"I'm not a slut!" I cried. God, just because you have ONE boyfriend who happens to be into some weird shit… "I'm not the one who participated in a threesome, you skanky bitch!"

"It wasn't- I'm not skanky! I'm open to new ideas!"

"Well, Liv isn't a whore." Elliot snapped, with a bit more malice than was probably necessary. It was nice though, having a big, strapping man around to defend me.

Not that I needed it, after all, my biceps were the type that you took to the gun show, so I could look after my fucking self, all right?

But, yeah, again, it's always grand when Elliot rescues me.

I mean, it's nice when anyone does, because then I don't have to do the work, you know?

Of course you don't know.

"Olivia's been in handcuffs because she was arrested." Elliot continued on, making a very gallant attempt to make me look like a decent human being.

And, sweet, delightful Elliot was failing. Miserably.

"Excuse me?" Casey exclaimed, looking completely and totally flabbergasted. Ha. I bet you didn't even know that was a word. Flabbergasted. Well it is, and it's one of my fucking favorites.

Oh God, I think we were all running low on oxygen…

"It was all a mistake, Casey. I was set up." I sighed, closing my eyes and leaning my head on Elliot's shoulder. "I have a headache."

"Are you tired?" He asked quietly.

"I'm tired of being in here."

"You two are seriously disgusting." Casey said, rolling her eyes.

"You seem to be pretty disgusting, Miss Threesome." Ah… now Alex was coming to my rescue. I do so love being doted upon by people who want to jump my bones.

Oh shit, did I say that out loud?

Whoa. Don't let those bitches read this shit.

"Oh my God, let the threesome go, I did it one time!" Casey exclaimed, shooting Alex a glare that was… well, very typical of Casey. It could just be that her face was like that, you know, all sharp and pointed and readily available for and glare to move on in.

Not that I didn't love Casey, I'm just pointing it out.

She continued on, "Plus, I'm not the only dirty girl here, ADA Cabot. You did, after all, just put a finger down."

"Hey I did too." Munch added. "Does that make me a dirty girl?"

"Ew, Munch, shut up." Elliot groaned.

"Why did you put a finger down, Munch?" Alex asked quizzically. Man. That crazy bitch just knew how to ask all the wrong questions.

"Do you really wanna know?"

"I don't." Elliot and I said quickly, giving each other another look. We really needed to stop that shit, all that talking at the same time shit, because it was just making everyone talk and that was annoying.

But, hey, we can't help it if we have chemistry, right?

"Well, I mean, I do if you were arrested or something." Alex continued on, looking over at Elliot. "But if it was just for, you know, personal interest then no. No I'd really rather not know."

"Then I won't say anything, as it was definitely for personal interest."

"Oh God…" Casey groaned, sliding her hands up over her ears. "Some days I don't miss hanging around with you guys."

"Some days I wish I was in your shoes." I sighed, beaming inside when both Alex and Elliot snapped their heads towards me, shocked, upset looks on their pitiful faces.

Man, since when did I become so damn sexy?

And why wasn't it helping me get laid?

"You don't mean that." Alex said quietly, glancing down at her hands. "Right?"

"No, sweet cheeks, I don't. Now, since we haven't covered it yet, why were you put in hand cuffs?"

Her said sweet cheeks lit up like Rudolf's nose on Christmas eve and she scratched at the base of her skull, "I uh, I just, wanted to know what it… felt like."

"Did you use them while you were by yourself?" Munch asked incredulously.

"I- Shut up, who cares, it's none of your business dammit!"

I giggled loudly and stretched my arms above my head, thoroughly ready to be out of that fucking elevator while simultaneously accepting that I would never again see daylight.

Yes. Yes, I had accepted that I was going to die there. The world was going to forget about us and we would all die of either starvation or murder and cannibalism.

Speaking of, I was getting really hungry.

"I'm hungry." Elliot sighed, leaning his head against the wall with a heavy thud.

I swear, by the way, I had no idea he was hungry too, ok?

"We've been in here for forty two minutes." Casey groaned, standing to her feet. "My ass is hurting."

"I have to pee." Alex put it, sounding as though she were trying to be helpful.

Casey made this strangled noise through her nose and pounded on the wall, "I just want to get the hell out of here! Is that too much to ask for?"

And as we all shrank away from the frightening ex ADA, whatever god she deemed fit to thank seemed to smile upon her and feel that, no, no it was not, in fact too much for her to ask for.

And as quickly as the lights had cut off, they snapped back on with a burning intensity that made me yelp and Alex bury her head in her knees. Casey nearly fell back on the floor as she, Munch and Elliot blinked away the brightness, and we all were very still in the illuminated silence for what felt like an eternity.

"It's back." Alex whispered, lifting her head from her legs, eyes squinting so tightly they were nearly shut. "The power… Is back."

"The phone!" Casey yelled, reaching over and nearly tripping over Munch as she made a mad grab for the emergency phone. She threw it to her ear with urgency and yelled into it, "Hello? Hello! Hello? Oh my God, hi, finally. Look, my… friends and I are stuck in the elevator on the north end of the courthouse, please, for the love of God, please send someone in here to get us because we've been in here for so long and we're… Oh you're already on your way? Ok. Ok, thank you so much. Yes, I don't think we'll be going anywhere where the phone won't be in reach. Thanks."

She tossed the phone back into it's cradle before spinning around to look at us with more joy on her face than I had ever seen in all my years of knowing her.

"Guys…" Her eyes were filling with tears as she addressed us, because God forbid Casey not be dramatic. "We're getting out!"

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**A/N:** So I realized after the last chapter that I write a lot of Author's Notes in the disclaimer section, which is probably a bad idea, because who reads the disclaimer section anyway? Anyway, I will reiterate here that I'm thinking of writing another humor fic in the same spirit of this fic and **Marry, Fuck, Kill** but possibly a little more… Adult is the wrong word, but it's the first that comes to mind. Raunchy, twisted, mature, sexy, they all come to mind as well, because it's getting to be wintertime and so that's where my mind is going lol. :D Let me know what you all think.


	14. The Last Time

**Never Have I Ever**

**Disclaimer**: So I don't own anything. So there. (Love you, Dick Wolf (: )

**Chapter 14: The Last Time -Munch's POV**

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Great. That wasn't sarcastic either, it really was great that we were getting the hell out of there. Not to mention the sights when the lights came on were pretty fantastic, so that too was great.

After all, it isn't everyday you see Olivia, Elliot and Alex all bunched together, clothes rumpled and riding up in inappropriate places.

I hadn't noticed immediately, due to my eyes needing a few moments to adjust, but when they did…

Like I said, it was great.

Alex looked the most respectable, I think, as she wasn't completely on top of them. She just had her now bare feet tucked underneath Liv's knees, or, knee, as one of Olivia's legs was draped across Elliot's, and his arm was wrapped almost protectively around his partner.

It helped that the girls had hair that looked very sexed up and Elliot had loosened his tie and undone the top few buttons of his shirt, but hey, I'm just saying the implication was what mattered.

As they noticed me giving them all the once over the trio quickly began to untangle themselves, blushes creeping up from their chests to their hairlines.

"Oh please," I smiled, "Don't mind me."

Elliot rolled his eyes and smoothed out his tie, "You're ridiculous, Munch."

"I'm ridiculous?"

"I'm so irritated!" Casey exclaimed, tossing her silky smooth hair back behind her. "Why aren't they here yet?"

"Casey, calm down, you just called them, what more do you want?"

"I want to go home!"

"We all do, but we can't do anything but wait for them to come get us."

"Well how long will that take?"

"Too long." Alex grumbled, slipping her heels back onto her feet. "You weren't this impatient when the lights were out, Casey."

"Yes, well the dark is soothing to me."

"That's not creepy at all." Elliot muttered, straightening his tie. "Wanna finish off this game to keep you sane?"

Casey whipped around to look at us, an unexplainable terror in her eyes. "You really think we'll be in here that long?"

"Well, you never know," I shrugged, standing to my feet to stretch out a bit. I didn't like being cooped up, especially now that the lights were on and I could almost feel it getting hotter by the second. "We could be here in enough time to have two games."

"Oh please don't say that." Alex moaned, slumping back against the wall. "I'm getting a migraine."

"Well…" Casey grimaced, looking around at the rest of us. "I… I guess it would make the time pass faster, wouldn't it?"

"If only." Olivia sighed, scooting away from Elliot only slightly. It's interesting how differently people act when they know people can see them, isn't it?

"Well… whose turn is it?"

"Mine." Alex replied with far less enthusiasm than I found appropriate. After all, this was the most fun we were going to have while we were in here, she may as well enjoy it. "Give me a minute to think of something."

"That could take forever." I whined.

"Fuck you. Sit down and shut up."

I raised an eyebrow at the feisty blonde before slinking down into what had become my spot, eyeing Casey as she followed in suit. Who knew Alex could be so terrifying?

Well, I did, but that isn't the point.

"Never have I ever…" She began, furrowing her eyebrows together in contemplation, "Never have I ever… fooled around in my siblings bed."

This game was so much different to play now that we could clearly see each other's faces. I grin as Eliot screwed up his face and lowered a finger, along with Casey and myself.

"Wow." Olivia grimaced, looking at the three of us, "You guys are really gross."

Casey shot her a glare and snarked back, "Oh come the fuck off it, you just don't have any siblings."

"True." The detective grinned, snuggling into herself as she enveloped herself in a protective self-hug. "So what'd you do in your- wait, you have siblings?"

"Four brothers. Three older, one younger. I had sex in my younger brother's bed."

Liv gaped at her, as did, well, everyone else. I rubbed at my forehead, "You had SEX in your little brother's bed?"

"Well we were in the process of moving, and his bed was the last one to be taken apart, I didn't want to have sex on the floor of my barren bedroom, ok? Don't judge me, you fooled around in a siblings bed too."

"Yeah, I felt a girl up on my brother's bed because I was staying at his apartment for the weekend while my parents were out of town."

"Aren't you G." Elliot laughed.

"Ha. Ha. Yeah. Yeah, El. What did you do?"

"Well I had a bunk bed until I was sixteen, and then I felt like I was too old for it and my brother and I told my parents we needed new beds, so they sold the bunk bed. While we were waiting to get new ones I fooled around with Kathy in my sisters bed while she was at a friend's house."

"Oh dear God." Alex said, a disgusted look on her face. "You've been with your wife for that long? That's… insane. And impressive."

The burly man grew suddenly sullen and shrugged, "Yeah well it's not like we haven't had our problems or anything."

Awkward. Jesus, Alex, way to fuck up the atmosphere. Olivia stepped in to save the day, "Well you all are gross. That's so wrong."

"It's not wrong!" Casey cried. "You do what you must!"

"GROSS."

"Whatever. Why don't you move on and say something, Miss Two Fingers Left?"

"Fine, Miss Three Fingers, I'll make sure to say something that I'm sure you'll have done so that we tie."

"Oh shit. Well that's no fair!"

Olivia grinned evil and was about to say something she'd never done when we heard a banging sound above us.

"They're here!" Casey cried, jumping up and rushing to the doors. "They're here!"

And in one exhilarating moment, the elevator began ascending.

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A/N: Yay! They're saved!


	15. Sweet Escape

**Never Have I Ever**

**Disclaimer**: So I don't own anything. So there. (Love you, Dick Wolf 3)

**Chapter 15: Sweet Escape -Elliot's POV**

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Well, see, it only seemed appropriate that since I started this story that I, you know, wrap it up too.

That and, after forcing everyone else to tell their versions of the story they thought it was only fair that I was forced to wrap it up and let you all know that we got out safely and went on our merry ways, living happily ever after and all that.

Of course, there's way more to it than that.

"Thank GOD…" Casey sighed loudly, tapping her foot as the elevator lightly bounced to a halt. Somehow her shoes had made their way from her feet into her hands, I couldn't say when, I hadn't noticed that she'd taken them off in the first place. "Not that you guys aren't great, but I really do have a headache and I am seriously hungry. God, I can't wait to go get a burger."

I smiled slightly and shot my partner a sidelong glance, taking in her disheveled appearance. It was… well, aside from oddly attractive, possibly a little too messy for the situation. I mean, after all, we'd just been sitting in an elevator for fifty minutes, right?

Well, I guess it wasn't that big a deal, after all Alex looked like hell too. She lifted her little purse over her shoulder and sidled up to Munch, who was standing next to the overeager Casey. Smiling slightly she nudged his arm with her elbow and brushed her hair out of her face. "A burger sounds nice. Did you leave your wallet at home, along with your cell phone?"

"Of course I didn't, I had to drive here." The old goon sighed, clearly exasperated from his long ride in the elevator. Olivia and I rolled our eyes in unison, bewildered that he didn't get the obvious implication in her statement.

We did that unison synchronized shit a lot, didn't we?

Fuck. Well it wasn't my damn fault we had chemistry.

"Well I don't have any cash, maybe you can take me to Outback or something."

"Outback would take so long." Casey muttered, bouncing from foot to foot. "I'm hitting the nearest McDonald's."

"Classy."

"Fuck off."

"Well," Olivia smiled, "I for one, have to pee like a damn race horse."

"You know," Munch replied as the doors slid open, "Race horses have to pee just as much as regular horses."

A confounded looking Fin stood in front of the elevator to greet us, eyebrow raised in confusion. "Jesus, man, I haven't seen you all day and the first thing that comes out of your mouth is some weird ass shit."

Munch rolled his eyes as a new, odd expression crossed Casey's face. The strawberry blonde's eyes lit up like the fucking fourth of July as she slithered up to her boyfriend and snaked her arms around his neck with a soft, husky, "Hey baby, I've missed you."

I hope the image didn't creep you out, but I swear I'm trying to tell it like it was. Illusions to snakes and all, cause it really was serpentine. No lie.

Olivia and Alex screwed up their faces as Casey greeted Fin in her… seductive way while I rolled my eyes and Munch scoffed, "Oh gag me. Get a room."

"Hey man, she's been trapped in that elevator with you for almost an hour. Leave her alone."

"I've been trapped in there with him for an hour, think I could get a burger or something?" Alex complained loudly, crossing her arms over her chest. "Can't even get a man to take me to lunch."

Olivia laughed and threw an arm around her friend, "I'll take you to get a burger Alex. After I pee, because I seriously am going to burst."

Munch turned and raised an eyebrow at the two women, "Wait, you were implying that I take you to eat?"

"Obviously." They replied, eyes narrowing.

"Oh. Well, shit, yeah, I'll take you to lunch."

"Oh thank God." Olivia laughed, lightly pushing Alex away from her. "I don't want to spend another minute in these shoes."

"You're having Munch take you to lunch, Cabot?" Fin asked, eyebrow raised yet again, his hands at Casey's hips.

"Yeah." Alex nodded. Blushed. Man, this was a really depressing sight. "So?"

Fin shook his head and lightly kissed Casey. Again. "Lunch sound good to-"

She cut him off, stepping back from him and slipping her shoes on. "No, it sounds EXCELLENT to me. I say we go now."

"Oh, well, aiight." He shrugged, grinning at the rest of us. "Sounds good, baby."

"Yeah yeah, let's hit it." Casey turned and threw us all a wicked grin. "I really did have fun today you guys. We'll have to get together and actually finish… what we started… sometime."

"For sure." Alex smirked. Fin looked confused again as he and Casey waved goodbye to us and started out the building, passing by a similarly confused Judge Donnelly and Captain Cragen. The pair walked up to us with looks of bewilderment plaguing their faces.

"Was that Casey Novak?" Donnelly asked.

"The one and only." Olivia smiled. "You all don't mind if I make a break for the bathroom, right? Because I'm seriously dying."

I rolled my eyes and shoved her off towards the restrooms before turning back to my captain, "Sorry, we're all a little crazy."

"Yeah I'd assume." He nodded with a sigh. "You're all ok though, right?"

"Yeah, we all ready turned away all the medical help that was rushing toward us." Munch added sarcastically. "So nice of them to show up though."

"The EMTs are outside if medical help is necessary." Donnelly replied sternly, shooting him a glare. "Now if you all are in fact, ok, I'd like to let you know that court will resume tomorrow at nine am. Stabler, I assume either you or Benson's little friend Cabot will inform her of this, am I right?"

"Yes ma'am." I smiled, looking over at the ADA who still seemed to be blushing. Huh. Maybe she wasn't. Maybe she was just hot, or something.

"Listen, detectives," Cragen said, calling my attention away from Alex and her cheeks. "Go home and get some rest. All right?"

"Yes sir." We sighed glumly. Olivia was going to be really pissed. She hated not working.

"Good. Tell Olivia we're glad she's ok. See you all tomorrow."

"Agreed." Donnelly said, turning and walking towards her office as Cragen headed back out to the busy streets of New York.

"…That all seemed rather pointless." Munch said.

"Very."

I smiled at my two friends and ran a hand through my hair, "Well, today was… eventful."

"And uneventful." Alex sighed, rubbing her eyes. "So seriously Munch, Outback?"

"Of course, let's go." He turned to me and gave me one of those tired smiles. "See you tomorrow, El. Tell Liv I said bye."

"Will do." I nodded.

"And tell her I expect a rain-check for that lunch date she was prepared to give me." Alex said so seriously that I wanted to assume she was joking. I couldn't of course, but I really did want to. "And tell her I'm often more openly available for dinner or early breakfasts."

I raised my eyebrows as she grinned and walked off with Munch, purposefully removing his arm from her shoulder as he attempted to sling it over. Olivia walked up moments later, smoothing out her shirt.

"Seems it's just you and me, partner."

"Seems to end up that way a lot." I laughed, lightly placing my hand on her back as we made our way towards the doors of the courthouse. "By the way, Alex is honestly expecting you to take her on a lunch date."

"Of course she is."

"Though she prefers dinner or early breakfast."

"Of course she does."

I smiled at my partner as we wedged out of the big glass door and into the cold air, and I wrapped my arm around her shoulder as I led her to the car. "Speaking of lunch or dinner, you hungry?"

"Starving."

"I'll drive. Two fingers."

She punched me lightly and stepped away from me upon reaching the car, "Let's hope our next game fiasco is slightly less emotionally scarring."

"Yeah, but…" We got in and I turned on the engine. "What fun would that be?"

* * *

A/N: :D Finished! Haha, well I hope to write another, possibly more raunchy and FAR more emotionally scarring than this one! I will see you all sometime in the future, until then, I hope you enjoyed!


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